Sunset

It’s finally time to finish this…

So… now will you talk?


“Do not try to understand…

This cannot be understood.

 I do not want to be understood.

The harder you try, the more you endear yourself to me;

The more you compel me to trust you.

 

Understand,

I do not want to trust anyone anymore.

I do not want to expend the energy required of me to appreciate you;

To love you.

I don’t want to love anyone.

I am void beyond repair.

Beyond hope.

Do not follow me.

Just leave me alone…”

I wish so much that I’d been wrong;
that I hadn’t predicted this…

Understand, this comes from behind my eyes; not yours.

Stand firmly outside of your own perception,

or else you won’t understand,

 and I won’t bother feigning surprise at that for your sake.

This is not about you.

Don’t search for mirrors.

Rest your vanity and realize:

This is pure beauty and bitterness.

This is vitriolic disdain and honest honor.

This is my verbal cenotaph.

This is my sole and final purgation of this immense weight.

of this story.

Believe what you want.

The story is true whether you can deal with it or not.

Don’t bother hating me.

I’m not sorry,

and neither is she…

 

If this doesn’t make any sense to you, don’t worry;

it doesn’t make any fucking sense to me either.

 

For the blank, unspoken record: petty human eclipses were never even considered.

Neither in manhood nor mind.

I was content in any space, in any measure.

Behavioral congruity would’ve been fantastic,

but if she was happy, it was (read as “had to be”) enough.

 

Understand, the dream we dreamed never could’ve come true happily ever after,

but we stole it and pretended we could fly for a little while.

The saddest parts of dreams are the boundaries of our minds.

Still, we transcended every quantum particle to meet beneath the delta waves.

To hold each other, to dance, to attempt belief in a life beyond our existences; our survivals.

To share endless moments.

To kiss far beyond physicality.

or, at least, we tried.

So many possibilities with far too few actualities.

 

Pardon me, dear.

Pardon me while I attempt to believe.

While I explore this adorable delusion a little more.

Pardon me while I hold my breath and pray that fairytales come true someday. Maybe.

“Someday…Maybe…”

Pardon me while I fucking asphyxiate.

21 grams lighter, windows closed, and still smiling.  😀

Just like you always wanted.

The cherubic cartoon on the Band-Aid covering the oozing, infected bullet wound.

 

Understand, I feel no desire to blame you.

I’m damn near impossible.

Different assuagements for different estrangements, I suppose.

 

Apparently, faith isn’t enough.

Even more apparently, it never was.

I leave them to reconcile their dogma with their sincerest wishes.

Far too barbaric to imagine a charred, gnarled tree in the middle ring of the 7th…

Bark and blood; flesh and phloem.

It all burns to nothing

Speaking of nothing, maybe neither one ever actually was.

*gasp* Maybe, bay-be.

 

If my gray, jade eyes weren’t strained bleeding red from your riddled truths, perhaps I’d wish, too.;but my other hand is already full…

But it’s all far, far too fragile a subject for myindelicate mind.

Let the sweet dreamers keep sweetly dreaming allthe way to their special little Dreams.

Sometimes I wish I could remember how to dream…or dream how to remember.

Wish in one hand, .?!. in the other.

Just never let them taste the fecal, pussy, bilious bitterness.

Callow marshmallow meatcakes take astoundingly great pride in their asinine elephantshit.

Tender, pruning thumbs and memories nursing new realities.

So slowly.  Like a throbbing cock penetrating a teenage virgin cunt; a cold blade into fresh flesh.

 

Another tragically inexplicable event occurs and there we are again, pounding on g_D’s door.

Demanding answers from the silent sky and discrediting our own minds if any are discovered.

No answers will ever be found except those that we, ourselves, construct.

Cozy little delusion blankets.

Nothing can be gained by chasing the truth like the pink dragon through the needle.

Like a true Heroin Heroine.

No one can have absolute closure.

Especially not those of us who tried to help you over,

and over,

and over,

and over,

and over,

and over,

and over again.

 

Sincerely though, believe whatever brings you some semblance of peace.

She did and so do I.

That is, if you dare to have beliefs in the first place.

I think(I don’t believe)we don’t take solace in ourselves and each other nearly as often as we should.

 

Now, I just solemnly shake my head at the piles of memories:

The increasingly salted explanations and tearful apologies. (You know, they say crocodiles cry as they tear their prey to shreds.

I wonder if spiders cry once they’ve sucked them dry.

Far beyond rot, now just silently disintegrating into the endless flow of time.

In pure silence.

Always.

 

Rules are made to be bro    ken, right?

Systems made to col a  e?

Bridges built to bulrnp?

Life lived only to die?s

 

As in the beginning, so in the end:

all information was, is and will be in the clouds.

Becoming the clouds themselves.

Watch them burn as we all fly perpetual spirals into infinite obsolescence.

We’ve forgotten that we’re falling.

Sweet Death seems to have forgotten us.

and we silly humans don’t even bother to cast a skyward glance.

 

All ideas are born bitches of our sophomoric consciousnesses.

We’re left to dejectedly compensate the stars their wonder,

as if they circumstantially reclaimed their property.

Of course, nothing is wondrous save that which

is viewed through Washington’s vacant eyes,

but no use beating a dead nation.

 

You should know,(but you won’t)beauty abuses its freedom again.

I know.  You’d spin if you even had a grave in which to do so…

Just like so many people who so vehemently scream for it,

yet persistently confuse it with convenience.

Live conveniently or die.

Just like virtually everyone and everything.

No sense of responsibility without the constant threat of death; as if dying was ever more painful than living.

Without regularly pissing its cherubic, little self beneath your magnificent, bestial dominance.

Clutching her teddy tighter as you rape vowels from her throat, gagging

and vomiting on your cocked, cold metal prick.

Unsafe or not at all.

Slit her little throat and make her ecstasy complete.

 

Freedom(haha)is a petrified little girl, strapped to a toilet for 12 years and violently forced mute.

 Forgotten over time, leprously festering away in its little magic lamp

(or torch, as the American case would be).

Small fucking wonder the universal, perpetual and reciprocal fear.

 

Now, beauty is lazy and plasticine.

The wordifying meatcake kings and queens mutate beauty in their own rigid image(s).

Not the other way around.

No one wants to a hammer-mangled angel’s face.

Not even an astonishingly pathetic excuse for a mother.

Just what you always wanted…

Thank Fuck you’re pretty, right?

 

Beauty’s not black anymore. 

Just gray.

Ceaselessly vacillating through stultifyingly mediocre shades of itself.

Beauty’s _____.

Faux, pseudo-imitation ersatz Xeroxes…

…and seriously fucking redundant.

No more blood to cry since Gemini was mercilessly evicted.

…but that was just silly little Juliet.

 

I’d attempt to write some stupid poetry bullshit about her smile,

her “pearly whites,” but you know that already.

The last thing left in Her Space before everyone abandoned it.

Don’t bother waking up; you weren’t there.

She wouldn’t have wanted you there anyway.

And now, her teeth are mere ashes and dust…

 

 

Connection was just another addiction…

Another lead primate in the fucking barrel on your back.

Did you seriously not even stop to consider the potential repercussions?

Or was it just another illusion of varying perceptions?

 

I do worry that you cheated yourself from The Dream.

The Dream.

You know, the one that bestows absolute insight after which insight no longer matters.

Such a fucking joke.

How can anyone not be laughing at it all?

 

Should we ever believe again that love is all you need?

Should we ever again trust the mind-numbingly ridiculous pseudo-profundity

that ceaselessly escapes our gaping face chasms?

Should we fingerfuck romanticism until it pisses itself,

bleeds black cunt chunks and finally tearfully submits?

Where should we point our aching digits?

We desperately need a scapegoat, because reality is just… too real.

At least, if we blame ourselves, we know all we need to do is swallow our best friend.

One beloved little lead pill and no one will punish us ever again.

Not even ourselves.

The greatest toothless blowjob we’ll ever give.

No more horrible freedom to fear.

No more wretched responsibility.

Nothing required of us.

No more monstrously selfish acts for which we must answer.

Finally alone to blow our own minds into the ether.

At long last, we’ll be at peace… but far beyond consciousness of it.

…Oh well, right?

 

“A lifetime of fucking things up fixed in one determined flash…”

 

Now that you’re gasping and bleeding to death, wishing you hadn’t done that, sit down for a second.

Let me remind you.

 

I saw you beyond your self-imposed boundaries and invited you to drift through the cosmos of our mutual imagination.

As we all should.  As we ALL should. 

Life is far too short not to do so.

You own the air.
Can’t you see?
Breathe?
Believe?
It’s not fucking fair.
Holding beauty hostage.
Kissing away its sanguine, mercurial tears.
Your eyes are false idols.
Making all stars lose their wonder.
Are you disconnected?
Do not worry.
All states of connectivity are illusions of varying perceptions.
Resign yourself to the halcyon maelstrom called the true world.
But now the clouds smell of gasoline and taste like cocaine.
The bitter bleach dripping through Merlot streams.
Step by evolutionary step, you invalidate existences with plush crimson lips.
All odd eyes praise you for showing them something worth remembering.
As if anything could ever be.
You’re a black hole, Sunny.
Won’t you come and wash away the rain?

And, much to my incredulity, you emphatically reciprocated…

Romanticism is suicide.
I drown in the words,
of a faceless writer.
Suddenly, this noose feels a bit tighter.
Do you know who I am?
Have you seen my dull face?
A simple crippled play-thing,
Half-past erased.
Dislocated limbs from under your bed,
“We haven’t played in years… I assumed you were dead.”
In a chloroform haze,
I’m dismembered by rage.
Yet I’m silent and still.
A limp rag-doll in a cage.
Cracked porcelain face, cadaverous lips, broken heart.
Waiting in patience, alone in the dark.
Were these words written for me?
You know not what you say.
Still, I am shaken,
As my incandescent rainbows fade to the palest of grey.
Now that you’ve found me,
I feel so complete.
Worlds collide, and I died,
When eyes like ours meet.
My eyes glaze over.
Losing all trace of green.
Losing all sense of wonder.
[vacant] until you surrender.
A meticulous melody bleeds,
Through the lips of a crooked smile.
I suppose you want to keep me guessing a while?
Place my eyes in the sockets.
Please… allow me to see.
Who is this surreptitious poet,
Whom has set my reclusive mind free?
You leave me here, dysphoric, without purpose?!?
Or would you rather not mention?
Give me a name, before you lose my attention…

I knew then what I said, and still know it today.

Like
an onyx star denigrating a shameless cocaine sky.
Your eclipse is the all-consuming, universal collapse.
Exquisite, defiled stellar corpses still bleeding in the dust of your wake.
The sun is hopelessly drowning in the cradle of your horizon.
We grin and dance as it all, as it all falls down.
Such magnificent spectacles fit solely for nicotine drag queens and celebrity suicide kings.
Shrieking through the stars to obliterate the Earth means never having to say you’re sorry.
Filthy digits flowing through murder locks like electric rain guitar distortion.
Painting vastly elaborate masturbationpieces,
composing bluest velvet nymphonies with white-hot needle nails on plush skeleton shells.
Igniting tremulous souls, buzzing like enraged rebel sex toys.
Feel me.
Free me.
Close my white eyes and dream high beside me.
Violent, violet, beautiful beasts cocooned in silk sheets.
Death’s head gracing waxen angel dust wings.
Satin lips soul kissing fluorescent fists.
Blanketing toxic cities in negative flame; in war and peace in pieces.
Ceaseless and pregnant with fallen imagined nations.
Illustrating googolplexes of variations.
Unimaginably slight differences sparking riots through multi-verses of infinity’s prisons.
Single-winged seraphim soaring in viral helices; in tandem or never.
Greeting behemoths with severed, shaking hands and blasphemous smiles.
Caressing all the omitted questions; the popcorn, the tapestry matrices, the worms in the rotten apple planet.
Nursing confusion with candy cane crowbars.
De
fra gm
en
ted
and distantly euphoric.
I play pretend very seriously in your absinthe labyrinths.
Call your house.
I’m here and waiting for you in 302,
…and I’m going to start breaking fingers if they don’t stop fucking pointing at me!
Whining wrists tied and senses folded senseless,
I’m sinking g_Dspeed through crystalline emerald seas.
Pacing stoic & ecstatic beyond all tyrant clocks and pallid galaxies.
False, idle seasons watching us fall away, all in and out all.
Just. one. (pre)fix.
This is understanding.
All else is overstated.
All words brand new when spoken of you.
Sentiments expunging all their history.
All the odd eyes immortalize you proudly.
For showing them something worth remembering.
As if anything ever was or could ever be.
All the boiling blood is for you…
Come tie my tongue in a digital bubble bath and I’ll sing you sweetly through sour dreams.
Teardrop on the fire; fearless on my breath.

The fucking g_Ddamn impossibility was attempting to convince you of it.

Even after you proclaimed yourself my wife, and I your husband.

A commitment I took just as seriously as you seemed to in your words.

Words that I’ve frozen in time, so I can rewind them over,

and over,

and over

until I’m through torturing myself.

Stoically pouring lime into the umpteenth lacerated flesh.

No doubt everyone else scoffed or were worried for our sanity.

Maybe it’s the rest of the world that’s fucking insane.

I gave you my name.

…yet I still lost your attention.

 

C’est la fucking vie… or some sophomoric batshit platitude like that.

So sadly typical, no doubt.

No need to add another name, another face, another life to the many you were already living.

So many selves lined up, blindfolded, trembling and chain smoking.

Desperately hungering for The Dream.

The poor little desiccated, cannibalistic vampires.  Gasping for their own blood.

they seemed to have nothing left upon my desert desertion.

I never wanted to make you different.

Why did you try so hard to be?

Why did you allow yourself to fail at it so consistently?

They were all too precious to reconcile (read as “kill.”)

So began life upon life upon life until you hit the bottom of the top,

and realized you stood alone with the animals.

as an empty soul.  Or so you supposedly said.

As long as I live, I can n.e!v.er forgive you for resigning such piercingly euphoric beauty to such frivolous waste.

As if it was all just another elaborate fucking joke in the biggest book of them all.

A lead weight that must and will be cast off.

 

But there was something in our microcosm…

Something did exist, and whether you believed in it or not, it was overwhelmingly magnificent to me.

It was real to me.

At least, it seemed real enough to satisfy my adorable little senses, limited as I’m well aware they are.

Far more transient than our memories, and even then still finite…

But we dared each other to believe, and we did.

and I can hear my head laughing at me for it now.

 

Sometimes I try to find some capacity to grant you a modicum of absolution.

Most times I just don’t even think about it.

Not because I try not to.

Because I just.don’t.bother.

 

This story,

my story,

your story,

our story will be forgotten like last week’s breakfast.

 

And I wonder why…

but I’ve been told I was different.

Your kin told me that you truly did want my name.

But friends and ex-lovers have also told me some of your supposed secrets.

I salt these words, but the acrid bitterness overwhelms to this day.

You wanted my father to sing for our union.

You wanted to leave your life for one we’d call ours.

 

 Words of truest, purest lovers.

Acts of schizophrenic, lascivious capitali$ts.

The cold spoon felt good on my tongue, but the lies tasted quite familiar.

The scale of your vastly elaborate web was truly astounding.

The web into which you’d lured so many pathetic insects

 just.like.me.

The memories of your words are frozen at gunpoint with the deception.

Clips full of theoretical bullet miracles.

 (No, Leo. I’m not waiting anymore…)

Incon-fucking-ceivable.

Yet, once again, you put me in awe.

Let the show go on, and on, and on…

And keep smiling.

😀

 

Luddites might foolishly claim this is when the story began.

For us, this is where the story climaxed (again, and again, and

holy shit-sucking christ

again)

and then silently, unapologetically fadedblack beyond our foresight.

 

Once upon a dreadful time, I offered for the bajillionth time.

and you finally accepted.

I immediately began preparing for your polite and moderately plausible declination.

I guess any conceivable excuses must’ve been aborted like unloved little miracles.

So, I prepared for your arrival.

 

I promise you: I was alive then.

I knew it more than ever.

Upon your encouragement, I followed my heart far.

I prepared to the nth degree.

I bought crayons and used them to welcome you to a better world.

I cherished every year of your life.

I shampooed the fucking rug.

Sara Deever would’ve turned green.

and then you arrived.

 

Understand, my imagination unconsciously scripted a thousand variable fantasies of our first glance,

our first touch…

our first kiss.

For once in far, far too fucking long, reality proved vastly more fulfilling.

 

As long as I live, I’ll never forget the profound joy of actually seeing you for the first time.

Watching you move, all breath escaped my lungs like they were on fire.

It was never mine to begin with, right?  Right.

Ecstatically, I watched you from afar as you looked for me.

The short, skinny girl with the long black hair; looking like she’s lost.

I called you and told you to stand still.

To stare at the big neon green “B.”

I walked up behind you and softly placed my hands on your shoulders.

I whispered in your right ear, “Are you ready?”

Hearts racing, hands trembling, you whispered back affirmation, and I turned you around.

 

…I’ll never forget how the red so marvelously complimented your glowing green.

Flooding supernova windows absorbed that most astonishing moment,

into which lifetimes were infinitely compressed.

We silently begged time to leave us be.

Just for then.

And it did…

 

That tight embrace…

That smile…

At long last, all was aflame.

All was at peace.

 

We took each other further into the other’s reality.

Staring in awe,

 caressing each other’s face,

and finally… finally kissing.

Nothing else mattered.

I promise you.

Nothing.

 

When time was permitted to resume, we proceeded through the surreality.

Through onyx star Teardrops, we remembered who we once were.

Who we still were.

Who we still wanted to be.

No one physical prayer would suffice beyond the first.

Inebriation and delirium grew in unison.

Complete gardens birthed from words.

And she finally opened the door…

 

I stood transfixed admiring unadulterated, adulterous spectacle as she restored her adornments.

A piercing marriage of cold steel and warm flesh.

She just smirked.

We confiscated and discarded every senseless inhibition.

Surrendering in black light and exquisite sidereal envy.

Soaking in the reanimated immersion.

Becoming one, or some silly hippie shit like that.

Forging and erasing for hours once back on solid ground.

Making covetous reflections proud.

Phenomenal sights seeming perfunctory.

at long last, capitulating to somnolence.

 

Playing show’n’tell like childhood sweethearts.

“I’ll show you my world if you show me yours.”

Such magnificent complements are far too few;

far too far between.

Leonine manias blindingly potent.

Elementarily (and necessarily) altering X to Y.

Insatiably circumnavigating all in purest licentia.

Galloping through toxic exhilaration into the pseudo-metropolis.

Enthralled by melancholy alien percussionists.

Perhaps Universality is only a slightly pathetic farce.

Dining on nostalgia alone while sweet meatcakes gaped.

Don’t look back; just run far, far away with me.

Away from mediocrity, ornamentalism and demoralizing destitution.

You agreed and promised, and promised, and promised…

And through our last night, as Transeau’s digital infinity surrounded us,

enveloped by the divine onyx eve,

she wished us a gift like his.

A gift named Meadow.

And we wept.

 

I’ll politely forgo all other minutia.

Suffice to say, she effortlessly broke down every wall.

Once upon a moment, we cried and laughed simultaneously.

Pitifully weak and extraordinarily empowered in the utter euphoria of each other’s presence.

Of each other’s vulnerability.

Of each other’s undeniably genuine adoration.

An unprecedentedly profound joy I’d never even imagined possible.

 

I hope everybody who deserves love can experience that someday.

A complete abandon of all pain.

A complete ecstasy.

A love great enough to detonate both beings to pure energy.

Absolute absorption into a moment you wish above all else

would never, ever end.

 

I wish I could have done as that stranger suggested.

To just get on the plane with you.

The money just wasn’t there.

And who knows if you would’ve even wanted that.

You swore you’d come back, but I beat you to it

(albeit in altered circumstances).

 

I moved to start my own life, not one for us.

Even after our visit, even after we rescued your best friend,

It breaks my heart when I think how you left him.

Especially after trying so tirelessly to get him back… and actually succeeding.

I wonder if he misses you…

you had once again allowed nearly all hope to die.

And I’d retreated to my binary playground.

Though I received more than I expected upon my arrival.

A little more than absolutely nothing.

Then, absolutely nothing…

 

As I waited for the bang or the whimper,

I counted all the 24-hour-long seconds of cacophonous tranquility.

Towering monoliths of dreams collapsing in slow motion beyond my adorably limited perspective.

Eventually leaving only dying embers of perfunctory courtesy.

At that moment, hope was thrice starved and well acquainted with the rot of your ennui.

At that point, I’d developed a sense of mercy, thus the euthanasia.

 

Seeing your vibrant enthusiasm fade to such opaque apathy was thoroughly disheartening…(and I said as much in places you’ll never see…

I wish we could’ve had a real chance to make our dream come true.

Maybe we did in a closely parallel universe.

 

After you’d refused my help for the last time,

I had to leave.

Once again, money was the issue.

When I went to say goodbye,

I prepared to hate you,

yet I ended up sustaining you.

 And the last time I saw you, when you finally came out,

you came out smiling.

🙂

 

 

but then I got the call…

 

 

If I ever permitted myself to do so, I’d like to think you’d be happy for me.

Where my life is, what I’m doing, where I still want to go.

And though this will be the final piece I write for you,

I will never forget you.

 

So, with these last words, I watch the Sun finally set.

I tried over and over again to describe you, to poeticize you,

but you were beautiful beyond words.

I love you, Sunny Rae.

Sunset

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Floccinaucinihilipilification

You really shouldn’t read this.

 

 

It requires a great deal of time and concentration.

Not to mention self-control.

Hey!

Keep your hands out of your pants!

An ar-teest is speaking! (well, writing.)

Comically draconian at best; moderately prolix at worst.

It will most likely not make you a fraction as happy to read it as it made me writing it.

It may lead to excess body hair in most private of places; including, but not limited to one’s shit-chute, cunt, cock, balls and/or back.

Most importantly, it will definitely not make you any richer.

So, really then, what is any of it worth at all?

If this doesn’t hurt your feelings, you’re probably not paying enough attention.

Or you’re wholly inconsequential.

Or your truth pacifies my vacuum mind to the preclusion of inclusion.

I do so sucking succulent memories.

Smile for the camera!

 

 

Few are safe.  Even fewer are secure.

All insight is hardly insightful.

All wisdom is foolish.

All nonsense should be embraced.

If you’re bored, you’re boring.

You’re wasting your time.

Continue.

Come and ruin me.

Come and solve our mysteries.

No names, no faces, no numbers; don’t fucking bother.

Ignore this; ignore me all you want.

I still exist.

I have a plan and it doesn’t include you.

One day, you’ll be sorry…

 

 

Niaga dne ot…

…from the beginninG.

 

 

Digesting all my distorted fingers.

I end with tongues of most staggeringly potent infernal venom.

Po’ Edgah Allan’s tied to the tree.

Staring awestruck down the road through bloodshot fountain eyes.

Weeping for significance; slick with shame.

For all things inscrutable, arcane, esoteric; being as rich as the most decadent of chocolate.

Every digit nailed through the nail.

Mashing prints beyond all recognition.

Mrs. Budd, my niece is having a party and I’d very much like your daughter to attend…

Oh, did you happen to receive my letter?

 

 

You should consider the possibility that your soul mate is already fucking dead.

Slain by their own hand in a fit of neurotic, despondent frustration.

Trying to find you…

 

 

Siring sextillions from sausage apple cribs to mud carpet graves.

This is what it means to belong.

Swiftly perishing in the same beautiful puddle.

Shrieking for salvation from their lorD.

The opacity in mine pierces the diaphanous lies in yours.

I eagerly locate the X and… without a sound, they’re gone again.

You’re gone again.

Do you even realize that all of your words are still true?

That they’ll always be true?

They’ve evolved beyond the fickle wind into which they were whispered.

Beyond the now deafened ears they once fell upon.

Your adulation will be ceaseless barring the ball shoved back between your fucking teeth.

Its purest home.

You will me forever.

One 5th (or 7th, hehe) eye must behold and possess.

This is the unconditionality spoken of; yearned for but rarely attained.

Self-incarcerated prisoners devising further Daedalian constructs of bondage and domination.

Galloping gleefully into obsolescence.

Grinning that toothy, piss mordant grin.

🙂

 

 

I greatly enjoy extracting pulsating pieces of myself and meticulously analyzing them for flaws.

Am I lovable yet?

Do I exist in your world yet?

Don’t you know?

That’d be the supreme fucking validation.

I you enough to protect us both from each other.

I you so much that I’m willing to wrap my throbbing dick in strangling latex just for the privilege of sticking it in your celestial cunt.

Dearest, when you beg me to fuck the shit out of you like the worthless little slut you are, I think of how much I you and it brings a tear to my eye.

It’s so amusing to think of the money you waste on makeup and clothes.

Trying to be beautiful for a grunting ape, when the most beautiful you ever were was stripped bare; face coated in fresh jism.

I speak in past tense because, frankly, it’s all downhill from that first time.

Hey, I just took a shit and I’d swear I saw your face in it!

You even disappoint me in my most vivid, salacious fantasies.

Isn’t that sad?

We can still be friends though, right?

I’d really love to cry on each others’ shoulders sometime.

Commiserate over the world and life in general as if we ever knew anything about either.

The fact that we’re here, there, every-fucking-where for each other is just so goddamn special.

It makes the whole world so much more bearable.

It brings MEANING to my paltry existence.

Can you do me a huge favor?

Can you share your deepest, darkest secrets with me?

I swear, you fascinate me so much more than I could ever fascinate myself.

I wanna know all about you because I bore myself stiff as a frozen toddler.

I promise, I won’t tell a soul worth telling.

Don’t worry!   I care!   I appreciate you for the unique snowflake you are!

I’ll cherish you forever and a day!

Don’t go thinking just because I don’t call for weeks, months or years that I don’t care about you.

Life’s just been reeeeeeal crazy lately.

I could elaborate, but I’m sure you know that’s just an extremely pathetic and tired excuse.

Hey, wanna fuck again sometime?

 

 

Don’t you worry about a thing, sweetie baby deary.

I have my perceptions to keep me cold at night.

🙂

Isn’t it such a fucking shame?

I’m just so goddamn close to being perfect.

The flaws are simply far too fluorescent.

How does it feel knowing you came close to caring for anything less than an Olympian archetype of masculinity?

You should be fucking ashamed.

Spread your legs wide; I’ll fetch the needles.

Would you rather plant (red) roses (rotting) in death valleys?

Let’s make our lives spick-and-span paradigms of desperation!

We know what life is aaaalllll about.

Photographing absolutely anything and everything.

Painting our faces and smearing them with ’s bitter liqueur.

We’ll never be worthy of one another.

We like it just.like.that.

We don’t trust anyone enough to fuck them twice.

We’re so divine; we’ll never confess.

We’re so symbiotically independent.

Aren’t we versatile?

We’d cry, but we’d coalesce.

With crocodile smiles welded on mediocre mouths,

we ®Evol(t? hahaha)ve back and forth through rings and spirals of stultifying, lascivious idiocy and vanity.

Truths are mere simple lies from simpler eyes.

Oh, yes, we remember him.

“He had a lot of nothing to say.

We’ll miss him.”

 

 

Hi there!

How’re you?

I’m good.

Not much.

Boy, I wish I had something halfway worthwhile to say to you

Ok.

Thanks for carinNicegtalking;toayou.lbeit briefly.

Shall we go back to ignSeeoya.ring each other now?

 

 

SW? seeking SW? w/ multiple bullet wounds and a hot ass.

Must enjoy collecting Nazi jam jars and being verbally and physically abusive.

3rd degree burn scars and a great personality are pluses, but not totally necessary.

Are you something – anything – more than a damage report?

 

 

I can’t wait to lose all my teeth so I can give the best blowjobs ever!

I am d; I am connected, therefore I am.

I am ignored; I am spurned, therefore I am not.

My throbbing manhood is dripping with our juices, therefore we are.

You are bored, thus boring, therefore we are not.

I never needed you, therefore you never were.

You never needed me either; however, I always will be.

 

 

I’m the one you’ll want when the quest for perfection finally ruins you beyond repair.

Too bad we’ll both be dead by then.

What to see but what’s been seen?

What to say but what’s been said?

What to hear but what’s been heard?

What to read but what’s been read?

Just, please, fuck me ‘til I repulse you.

Fuck me ‘til you bore me.

Fuck your garish of pestilential flaxen piss.

Fuck your pustular of germicidal cocoa glass.

This diamond is a girl’s worst enemy: it’s goddamn priceless.

Which means not for fucking sale, so put those coke-incrusted credit cards away.

 

 

I’m 2/15ths of a second away from widening my crooked smile with a straight razor.

Because rocks are trees.

And vice versa.

Perception’s a bitch in heat.

Questions are vital rubbish.

I soul kiss those on my neck with a prehensile tongue.

As black as the president’s blood.

As smarmy as his idiotic fucking smile.

May I savor your smegma on a cracker, your majesty?

May I have your abortion and a pony?

Pweeeeease?

 

 

Would you consider me blessed?

Why would any of you be so insane to attempt establishing sanity in me?

Like shoving a democratic cock in toddler-tight, African and Middle-Eastern shit chutes.

Aren’t I so much better this way?

I’m so much lovelier less.

Wouldn’t you prefer me transmitting some rare, incurable illness to you?

Then we’d putresce together in snazzy fucking shaaaades!

AIDS put us in the best shape of our lives!

We’ll watch the world’s incessant warring between apocalypse and evolutionary endurance.

We’ll laugh as they invent and innovate themselves into absolute fucking abject obsolescence.

You want something to brag about?

Fine, but first let me use this belt sander to smooth out our facial wrinkles.

Let’s fuck with our thumbs!

Oh, baby, I didn’t mean txt sex.

Although that’s fucking spectacular, too.

Wistfully describing all the filthy things we’d do to each other if either of us ever actually gave enough of a shit to put down the phones and go fucking do it.

No, I was thinking we’d make a few new orifices.

Lemme give ya a kiss, bitch.

 

 

I wanna be a loving, soaking PSYCHO; loathing –logy.

Follow the bouncing ball, kiddies!

I’m 2 sexy 4 my head.

2 sexy 4 my head.

So sexy I’m deeeaaad.

 

 

Great minds think alike.

Greater minds use amateur lobotomy to thin the competition.

Let’s take a stroll down Abomination St. on hands and knees!

Bitch puppies, backwards edistuo in.

Autistic inartists fingering broken inertia art.

I kill fags, hookers and abortion doctors for Jesus!

Red light, green light sinning energetic synergy.

Power!  Cursive insect 7 discourse meal.

Thinking in seven severed circular squares.

Are you filled to the brim with eager affection that seeks an erection?

Ohhhh, you said “direction.”

My bad.

My name is .?., but most folks just call me ☡☹☡.

Since the world doesn’t owe me a fucking thing, I guess I’ll have to steal it all.

Follow the light right up the fucking wall!

Can I please have my cancer now?

Does the needle in your eye tickle, adamantine pork horse?

Dear fucking lorD, are you trying to find a husband dressed like that?

Will you buy my denial?

I’m so in with you, I even when you puke on me and call me a piece of shit.

Please fuck a fatal, incurable disease inside me!

I want to fucking die!  Help me!

Best to stay on the good side of my pen; you might end up with it jabbed in your fucking neck.

 

 

Anyone ever wonder why suicide is illegal?

Might it be because then the government would have one less taxpayer?

One less pile of flesh perfect for nothing except cannon fodder?

One less soul sucking resources out of the planet?

We’re propagating ourselves into extinction, folks.

Perhaps you should open your eyes a little fucking wider and stop fucking breeding.

Is it any fucking wonder we have an obesity epidemic in America?

Look at our values!

Look at how we treat others to whom we feel superior in comparison to how we treat food.

Nobody ever looks at food and thinks themselves unworthy to consume it.

Unless they’re anorexic or bulimic, in which case, fucking kill yourselves.

We devour both food and people and shit most of both out when we’re finished processing them.

The shat eat other shit to perpetuate their shitty survival.

Fuck, two sugar cookies I ate yesterday satisfied me more than any sex has in way too fucking long.

Never mind food; emptying my bladder was a more fulfilling experience than most conversation I’ve had lately.

I gingerly unbuttoned my pants, pulled out my majestic cock and just savored the sweet release of letting my piss flow.

Sweet golden freedom.

 

 

This is a

poem.

Know how

you

          can tell?

Isn’t

it

obvious?

don’t tell

me

you appreciate or understand

this

fucking

mess.

Returns entered like thrusts

                                     of knives or dicks into rape victims

                                                              like they

deserve

it.

Ideas contin-

ued

essentially and unnecessarily

in lower fucking

case.

Don’t call something

                  po

-e-

                                                                                    try

just because you

don’t fucking

.ti dnatsrednu

(I honestly didn’t plan that to look like a “Z.”)

(Spooky, eh?)

An

E

way,

lliw

enoemos

PLEASE

kill

these

pathetic

“poets”

and unmercifully

violate all their

imbecilic, pretentious “style”

or

fucking lack thereof?

*sigh*

Guess if you want anything done, ya gotta do it yourself…

 

 

I’m so much more honest when I no longer care about fucking you.

Can you define the line between honesty and insult?

Don’t congratulate anyone in .

Are you fucking stupid?

Treat them like you would any other drug addict, alcoholic or gluttonous fucking hog.

Either viciously scorn and deride them, or rally around them and help them rid themselves of that intellectually and emotionally debilitating illness.

Prepare for great resistance due to not only the legality, but the vehement encouragement to contract said illness.

Prepare for hypocrisy.

Prepare for misery.

Prepare for anything.  Expect nothing.  Hope for the best.

The money’s in the treatment, not in the fucking cure.

 

 

Now, I’m finally ready to begin talking about you.

Ready?

 

 

To begin again…

…Dne eht morf

 

 

Pardon me, but are you the walking dead?

Would you like to be my girlfriend?

Would you do me the honor of masking my frigid isolation for a little while?

My tongue would know few greater joys than that of passionately caressing your furry incisors.

Lobotomy scars emitting scents of woodchips and neglect.

Sandpaper skin fogging ersatz prison windows.

Braille encyclopedias upon your backside.

Slipping eager fingers in(a?)toxicunt; emerging jaundiced in undead essence.

Cuticular foundations crumbling and exuberantly renewed.

Fuck!  Such hygienic laxity! 

You beast!  You idol!

A massively arousing mess.

Bromidic melodies annexing our banalities.

Beet red handprints across my face prove your tender affection.

My unconditional surrender to inadequacy.

One day, you’ll be a googolplex xerox, and I’ll smirk as you drown in the icy undertow of history.

 

 

Daughter of Sam, did a canine prophesy our communion?

A radiant pile of emptiness; that elysian maiden’s mouth.

Who else were you but 2-bit Tessie ing less Lank?

Obviously, I was crazy for being Crazy For You.

Fingers birthing monstrously preposterous teenybopper rhapsodies.

Ink sticks raped for your smile.

It is no.fucking.wonder to me now… believe me.

 

 

A hundred hollow kisses in umbral sanctuary.

August wind gently stroking skin-to-skin sin.

Laying languishing among leaves of tomorrow and stars of today.

Expand, contract, expand.

.Deworrob ron deggeb yllanigram reven erew seye sih

.Denifed gninifed edaj fo syad leber

,snoitatselom )cis( citesorp nairtsedep deripsni ,oot ,uoy

.Sselehtenon dellews eutriv eht tub

 

 

.Kcirb eht sselb dna llaw a dliub

!Eman kcirt a evig

.Demahsa gnikcuf eb dluohs uoy

.Tserof ngierof a ni dedlofdnilb ;sdrawkcab gnippets

.Yadretsey nettogrof eb lliw worromot …niks ruoy ni yad lanif eht si yadot

?Esproc gniretsef ylhserf rehtona tsuj ro ,tnedor yragus ym ,uoy taht si

.Yoxd ybab ,sdiulf ylidob detner em ewo uoy

.Seenk gnikcuf gnideelb dna desiurb ruoy kaerb ro tcelloc ot ereh m’i

 

 

.Gnikrims ylyls ,deksa ehs “?Deah uoy evig I nac …Wow

.Ecnedecca citahpme naht rehtar noitalutipac elbicsari gnitcepxe-flah fi sa

.Stnemwodne regaem neht gniliev teloiv gnirettilg

.Dees enitrebil gniwos yllanoitcirf ylgnineddam ,derucsbo

.Tpecca I ,euqsilado citatsce

.Ytilovirf suoidet ylsuoedih naht erom elttil gnieb noitagilbo yrartibra eht

We sat, and sat, and sat; communicational terrorists.

Your negligible companionship was barely preferable to hermitage.

Abashed to recall it bleeding all oceans.

We really should’ve sucked more clocks cocks.

Seconds, minutes, hours drowning in bile.

Perhaps, marinating in beatific afterglow, existence would’ve briefly been a little less revolting.

 

 

Sun’s thief once fueled our enduring discourse.

Mind’s Mother Gothel ascending locked amber braids to decades past.

Passing fast, running walking men backwards in, out, over ears and stinky, sticky, sepulchral heads.

Captivation lubricating like so much drool from starved cookie abattoirs.

Pious mutts and bitches, howling reverence to the great g_D.

Too good for most, yet not quite good enough.

I fell, soaked in life; victual coaxial mounting me upon a soft curve.

I’m still there…

Arms nearly detonating, I chuckled as savory death filled my lungs.

A 40-year-old virgin intruder, swimming where he shouldn’t have swam.

Pausing too long delayed seduction ‘til unconscious indulgence made amends.

Was the view mummified?  Was it all subliminal?

Well, yes and no.

😉

 

 

The prudish need not proceed.

Uoy snaem taht

 

 

.Ylhsrah em xat uoy ,ecnatniauqca tnatsid a htiw rueyov hsifles

.Raw-fo-gut elbeef emos ni fi sa

.Ssacrac gniripser etaredisnocni

.Ytitsahc detsaw fo foorp suonitaleg

.Em gnidleihs citcalyhporp eht ot resolc tlef i

!Ytinigriv rof hcum os

?Eunitnoc i llahs

 

 

.Snoitasnes gnitautculf yllacirtemaid ;treni em dekar partraeb eht

.Hctib yknik a s’lrig ybab sih swonk won yddad

.Enivid os reven sthgiled tressed deziruetsap

!Sserttam gnikcuf a rof modgnik ym

The sight beyond your slightly parted lips still brilliantly vivid.

Let me taste my shrieking kin.

All screams muted as torrid tongues waltzed in blue bliss;

savoring the brackish Gewürztraminer.

 

 

Have you ever tasted a sweeter pair of tits than these?”

…when honesty was a luxury for a prima fucking donna.

Those saccharine lies look soooo goddamn delicious.

Feed me.

The blood never bothered me, baby.

Neither did your fear.

I just wanted needed more… so I stole it in secret.

Aww, did I STARTLE you?

Not the flat-bellied reptile you tripped over, huh?

I swallow souls like yours like green eggy-weggs.

But no ham; fucking Sam-I-am.

 

 

Can I even speak of you without biting my goddamn tongue off?

Abject from alpha chasm to mammoth moon.

.Ynegorp deifirtep ruoy rof ytip tserup ylno gniohce nirgahc reehs

.Lavivrus tneicafitroba na si sruoy  !Elims

 

 

!Ecnetsixe ym llacer ot dengied uoy derettalf os m’I ,hsog

.Tor yllufecaep ot xobD_g gniwolg that ni em tfel ev’dluohs uoy

.Seye dnoces ruoy tuo deguog uoy ,emit a nopu ecno

.Esirprus yb em deilfrettub

.Seil ranul yb deifirup ,esiugsid yhs ni deifinu

.Mih fo uoy dednimer I dab oot ,oot

.Gnidih ,gniyrc ,gnihgis ,gninaom ,gniripsrep ,gnitnurg

.Tnemamrif cixarata gnicreip ;srats latibrab gnitlaxe bmal knip a

.Etasrevigret I  .Ssergid I  .Etareggaxe I tub

.Noitalucso esutbo ni yrotsih gniyficlac gnimmargonom

.Taorht ym no pirg ruoy gninethgit ,seicnegreme ytied gniretsef gnitaromemmoc

.Eaelhcoc ciots ni seirots hsif gnitalucaje ylismulc

.Tnetnocsid fo enorht ym nopu gnihclef yltnetal retal flesruoy gnidnif ylno

!Citydolgort eht morf su reviled ,yrehcel fo Drol ,o

?Snrevac defrevo rieht ni sralohcs nomlas yravilas eht sdnim ohw

.Ybab ,llew os noteleks ruoy otno detsap si hself eht

.Uoy )revo lla ,no ,rof ,htiw( emit emos etsaw ot evol yllaer d’I

?Esirprus eht deliops taht seye ruoy ni Xorolc ro htuom ruoy ni lios ti saw

.Ynohpocac suoinomrah ‘sevlow dna sessentiw)ssel(eye nolodie htiw eno emoceb yltneg owt

.Lerrab gnikoms a htiw elfits I snoitseuq ynam sgeb hcihw ;rettam on

…Em dehcuot ylurt uoy ,Rebmeced taht

.Netsil I sa denetsil uoy

.Evig I sa evag uoy

…Derrits xineohp eulb eht dna

.)S(yek erew selcitnac noitcesiviv lacinomongoisyhp eht spahrep

.Sruetacovorp )tnuceep:decnuonorp( tnauqip lla dekovorp ylsselreep Msatnahp Elbignat Gnirewolg eht

.Nwod gnikcuf yaw ,yaw sbmuht owt

.Oga gnol eulg rof derethguals yllacitehtsenanu neeb ev’dluohs ruomarap oduesp ruoy

!Evals ,esialam ruoy esiarp

.Ecnacifingisni ruoy naht erom raf em selkcit ecnereffidni eht

?Gnihtaerb llits tnereffidni si

?Tnacifingis )gnihtaerb llits( uoy era

?Taht s’tahw

?Kcid fo lluf llits htuom elbaitasni ruoy htiw tihs gniklat yrt ot ton uoy llet reve Ymmom t’ndid

!Woleb pmaws suoilib eht ot sugahpose ruoy dnoyeb raw ot ffo gnihcram era sreidlos layol ym

?Gnitanillop m’I taht ysiad lacef ruoy taht si ro 

.Nevo eht taeherp ot togrof I ,nmad…

.Ssem gnikcuf a tahw

! ym ,ralimis os llems dna kool tsuj yeht

.Yawyna )deirc ,dewollaws( delims dna taht wenk uoy tub

?Sekacpuc ro/dna puos eltrut rof pu enoyna

.Htaerb hserf-ynirb dna nirg dehsilop-tihs a

.Niaga dna ,niaga dna, niaga dniwer dluow i

.Elbadnepxe drow hcae

.Elbasnepsid tnemitnes hcae

.Wolf dna bbe s’emit hguorht tsud gnissama won tfig dehsirehc ecno a

.Revetahw

 

 

!Nwad tsekcalb ym teem

.Gnol os peels reven dluohs nihtiw selitper eht

.Hceel gnikcuf uoy ,tae em tel dna.dnah nmaddog ym.esaeler

?Elbakcuf ylecracs er’uoy nehw noitceffa ruoy ro nrecnoc ruoy si doog tahw

Feel free to wax my Eden apple, but don’t you fucking dare profane my lips with yours.

It’s a miracle of modern hygiene!

For future reference, dear, one should cleanse one’s gunt twice as well as one’s shit chute.

Now run along and die, you insipid waste of skin.

 

 

Welcome to the 21st century!  Here are your thumbs!  Use them wisely!

If only g_D knew, hE’d be spinning in hiS grave.

If only g_D gave an infinitesimally minute fraction of a shit.

What a fucking alternative.

I accepted your most sacred of treasures with painfully feigned enthusiasm.

Atrocious, drunken wrestling hogs; glistening in chilling fucksweat.

Fashion me a furiously simple sorcerer; perpetually parched.

Dangling diamond twinkies juuuuust out of reach.

Hey, why go out for filet mignon when I’ve got a pile of maggoty ground chuck rotting in the corner?

Murmuring my name ever so longingly.

“Can you feel the tonight?”

KEEP FUCKING SCREAMING!

Bleach this fucking stain from my history.

 

 

She jerked my chain harder than you ever could.

As a cur to its queen with ambrosial retribution.

Trading cheesed chuck for savory, sanguinary tenderloin.

She eradicated your identity with her astral eyes.

She eclipsed your with a single viperous kiss.

Sweet, sour lil’ sis…

.Elbisivni eht Dnoyeb gnigayov ;Emit Urht Gnihprom

… !Yhw gniksa reve tuohtiw Ecnelis ni Swodahs emaceb ew

.Noitarepsaxe naihtnisba ot gnirulla ,eegufer 3591

.Selohw yloh gnikcom sevlah deloh owt

.Ssilb tnarongi fo yremmum gniretaw-htuom ;ytinu fo ecraf eht

.Tceffe eht esiarp  .Esuac eht esiarp

 

 

…Sesirc efil-dim gniregnif-ykcits ;sevarg gnibbor

.Lacipyt)? (a

!KCUF!ECNELIS

 .Hcnets tnegnup ruo deksam I sa em demialc edirp ddo

.Em desuma staerht wolloh )etal( s’dnabsuh )tnesba( ruoy

Thgin taht shgis citatsce ruoy draeh ylno d’eh fi

(;

 

 

*hgis*

.Aes a deraeppa uoy ,elddup gnikcuf a hguoht  !Ovarb

?Ekahsdnah a ni erohw a eno dnarb ot etilopmi ti t’nsi

.Raet eht yb elbarelotni erom emaceb thgilp ruoy

.Mitciv uoy

drah gnikcuf oot yrt uoy

and yet not at all.

Scraping scrap visages.

Yet even further over-modifying overmodification.

Redundant paramecium.

Asymmetric phrenic eunuch.

Be gone, lest you permeate me further with your rancorous frailty.

 

 

An anomaly of obscurest measure.

So rare, you bled not blood, but viscous oil.

Much like I implied earlier of our ever-so-beloved president.

Such fiercely astounding mediocrity precludes any meritorious continuance.

Your mere sustained existence is a fucking enigma.

A profound wonder I didn’t leave you for dead, as I rather doubt you were alive upon my arrival.

As some skeletal steward clearing table scraps from the Edmund Fitzgerald.

Utter autistic inanity our forte.

That lamb’s life was most assuredly wasted.

Nothing, nothing is as sacred as we believe.

Your psychological poverty prohibited even the most slipshod of conjecture.

Suspire erosivity; saluting somatic death’s December breath.

 

 

Did you sanitize your noise void with rancid road tar on a prickly pear?

Are you really that butt-fucking blind, or is it just apathy?

Whatever.  Don’t fucking speak, laugh nor even smile.

Strip.

Fuck.

.Muc

.Recnac teg og ,won

.Rehtruf ti niur uoy erofeb dlrow ym fo tuo kcuf eht teg

.Dluoc reve I neve naht rehtruf

. Ylnevaeh gnikcuf saw tnuc ruoy ,yaw eht yb

 

 

.Ksa ton did I hcihw rof sliated reffo ton od

.Etacinummoc ot gnitpmetta yb lin ylraen ot laeppa ruoy demmid ydaerla ev’uoy

.Kcerw-niart dirroh a hcus nopu ezag neve ot egaruoc naelucreh koot ti ,kcalb hctip ni neve

?Uoy gnikcuf reve dluoc I kniht yllaer uoy dna

?Sruoy em llac uoy tel enola tel

.Flesruoy llik

 

 

.Yellav latsev-raen reh detartenep eh erofeb tsuj dias ehs “,trams er’uoy …Wow

.Esoprup yhtrow on devres sdrow dna htaerb

.Etanretla tnacifingisni eht

.Sutaretil mugelbbub evitagen

.Ytinema lla detrevni yvne lagla suoteca

Hypnotic hips, mesmeric tits, winsome lips, powdered mirror power.

Bow her downy fissure dowries down a little lower now.

No creativity, no curiosity, no fucking soul.

Your life is SUCH a giganticaphotic enclosure.

Whateva, nigga.

 

 

Two lives saved.

One life earned.

A caped coincidence.

You never, ever knew…

Your little trollop services me well, sir.

Now, please pass the potatoes.

Axial accomplice, reaping harvests of acquiescence.

Delicious sin beneath barred, braced grins.

Gingerly pruning prints and slaking salacious tongue tips in spumous, buttery wonder.

Hurrah for vengeance!

I only wish I could’ve helped push the knife in deeper;

to twist and grind it through his villainous flesh;

to emasculate him with a wooden spoon.

He owed all and much more the debt you paid.

Did we reach the light at last, or is our hair on fire?

Are we delusional or happy?

Is this what we want or simply all we could ever hope for?

Spoon-feed me more grand revelations or never again.

The American g_Dbox has you bound; snow jobbing your most sensitive slab of meat.

Only you can tear the skewers out of your skin.

Only you can free yourself into serene captivity.

 

 

Did you really have to ask?

Of course you may exploit me!

.Tegrof uoy ekam ot ydob ym esu

.Dnik ni uoy tegrof em tel ,won

 

 

.Ytiledif degdelp eh dnoces eht depole ev’dluohs uoy

.Noitnetni citsirueyov htiw noissimrep detnarg eh

.Spil evïan htiw selcarim cipocsorcim desselb eh ,depacse I sa

.Skeehc nosmirc nopu htaed gnilttar ,gniliaw

.Ytivac lufesu elos ruoy morf stnanmer citihpem

.Ti reve reffus dluohs dlihc ron namow ,nam rehto on

.Tcelgen ruoy laecnoc yletauqeda reven dluoc sgnineve fotsekcalb eht

.Seiks yrrats rat derracs hguorht noivilbo lufeelg gnimaercs roetem a sa daeh sselpleh ym revo gnuws gel ruoy

!Htaed ecin a evah

…Sreraebllap roop, roop esoht

.Gurhs yllautneve dna naorg dluow Salta neve

 

 

“.Su raeh lliw Yddad …hhhsss

.Yrotcnufrep ylsseltra erew uoy, gnissip ro gnittihs ekil

.Noisnemid driht eht deniatta ev’uoy ,tsal ta

Now rape me with it.

Please?

Dull as a fucking spoon that never existed.

 

 

FUCK!

The odd-eyed aperture lied again!

A bashful sheep bleeds while a famished goat feeds.

Staring despairingly through ubiquitous windows with no causes.

Chic, barcoded anarchist dissonance.

Senseless as a sideways sunset.

Wishing I wasn’t who I was, where I was with you.

Who am I to deny this decay?

Embrace me; surround me, sarcophagidae!

My my my, such well-defined thoraxes…

Have you been working out?

*bites lip*

What’s a case or two of malignant myiasis between lusting symbiotes?

By all means, civilize me as thoroughly as can be!

Lease me and feast freely!

Devour the pestilential, epidermal manacles and absolve the apparition.

Consummate the consumption.

Sputter bitter remnants under infinite eyes and sign yourselves away divine.

Home sour home.

Just let me loathe you and we’ll call it even.

Deal?

 

 

Loony, lickerish loaf.

Pre-buttered and self-spreadable.

Donkey work satiation.

Stocking and robbing ourselves blind and mindless.

.Derednauqs neeb ev’dluohs taews fo pord elgnis a ton

.Daerb etihw derb etihw ,dlom nworg ev’uoy

.Thgin taht yddet anut ruoy gniffuts eb ylderussa tsom dluow serohw laiceps owt fo eno

.Em ykcul ,ykcul

 

 

;ytuaeb suoedih fo ;hturt fo kaeps uoy

.Sluos lanoitcif)non( etatimi dna etalommi taht sgniht fo

.Ralohcs lagidorp a m’I

.Yreppirf allinav htiw dnim ruoy redrum em tel

.Delleuq syawla ytilanrac ruoy

.Detliw syawla sdrow ruoy

.Seiromem erem otni derumrum dna dehtrib snoe ,sare ,sega

,uoy tahs yllaciretnesyd ,uoy detsegid ,uoy dewollaws efil

.Niaga ecno em ot uoy detneserp yllanif dna uoy detimov ,uoy delgrag ,uoy deffauq

fleseno dnuor’ wob a eit ot emit reporp eht kcal thgim eno esoppus I

.Tcelgen dna gnihtaol-fles ni peed-kcen gnidaw tslihw

?Syadawon “baher” ti llac sdik eht od ro

 

 

 “.uoy rof tew gnikcuf os m’I

 “.uoy evolI kniht I”

 “!muc annog m’I”

“.Etamluos ym er’ruoy kniht I”

“?Pus’tahwpus’tahwpus’tahwpus’tahwpus’tahwpus’tahw”

”.Reggingnikoms-tropweNuoy,uoywonkylerabIhguohtneveelbidercnignikcufoser’uoy”

 “!EMMIGEMMIGluosruoytnawluoyfollatnawI

Stop staring at the fucking walls, you demented, racist, mechanical jizz mop.

Pay attention!

Do not speak unless screamed at relentlessly.

Life does occasionally occur beyond the bounds of service bars.

I’m a magician on my own stage I call the world.

Pull a fucking rabbit out of your own ass.

Oh, and die screaming alone in a fire.

 

 

Somnophilia guided eager serpentine assassins.

Hammy hints of knavish naïveté.

Callow as a goddamned ‘mallow.

Rarely worth the slightest effort; I dragged myself to you.

I should’ve kept my honest, third eye liar shut.

I just needed that one finger.

Your infidelity somewhat amused me.

Your puerility didn’t.

Kindly go skin yourself in front of your phlegmatic family.

Kthxbye.

 

 

Each sentiment expressed was just another bruise upon your façade.

This is just business…

?Esohw tub

.Htaerb ym slaets ecnavelerri ruoy

 

 

.thgin taht daeherof ruoy ni Agnikcuf telracs a devrac ev’dluohs I

.Seimmud gnirob rof s’ymehpsalb

.Ysae gnikcuf oot s’ymehpsalb

.Elihpotaret elivres ,elitnafni ,elireup

?Rehtob gnikcuf neve uoy did yhw

?Mohw ot evorp uoy did tniop esohw

!Deedni ,ecnetsisrep rof stniop

.Tnuc tnecselac tsom a pu enirolhc gnimmarc ;detrevni ecnecseiuqca

.Dragersid tneuqniled fo edis a htiw tsaot denekcalb no Aksrojam dna yresim

.Egduls tnimreppep tnelucef spmup llits traeh eht

.Noitoved taemteews suoiuqesbo ruoy ni detseretni ssel yna neeb ev’dluoc I tbuod I

.Deerbreve ,reven ot eerga dna tuhs spil nmaddog ruoy elpats ll’uoy fi ezigolopa ll’I

.Etal oot  !Kcuf

 

 

?Em erofeb ees I ytiddo eht s’ohw

.Uoy deyarteb dr3 eht hguoht ,llew stset 2 dessap uoy

.Em dna ,ti deyarteb uoy ro

?Dednetxe dna nepo llits dnah ruoy si yhw

?Cimim a rehtom neht ot mgelhp fo gnivres lufitnuob a rof gnipoh uoy erew

Such wretchedly ramshackled physicalities preclude virtually all courtesy.

All farces fair and feasible in and war.

Shrug me off your fucking shoulders.

Return your generic hospitality.

I hope, for your sake, you kept your receipt.

 

 

Lips still bleeding from paper’s piercing.

Acrid saliva, like foul fruit stew.

Colloquially challenged; not challenging.

Never mind to remind.

Barely an end before the beginning.

 

 

Sir, I’m doing my best to respect you.”

“Sir, you’re making it ratherfuckingdifficult.”

“I your daughter, sir.”

“Sir, the nymphet begged and pleaded to be aaallll mine.”

Rhapsodizing the past while I bite through my knotted gullet.

Satisfaction was somewhat satisfactory.

Bouncing αlphα βaβy anarchrγst.

?Der gninrut I ma 

?Neerg regnif gnir ruoy si

?wollas gniworg ew era

?Tsimitpo na llac ew dluohs

?T)n(eloiv gninrut uoy era

!Wehp

.Tihs a flah evig ot desoppus ton m’I taht togrof tsomla I

.Esolc saw taht

 

 

.Sgniht}-hcus-{on fo seohce ,gniohce ,gniohce ssalg elppa naebyllej

?Eerga uoy od

.Meg rettug gnirettilg a m’i

.Nihtiw tsepeed ,repeed ,peed ;uoy nihtiw em tlaxe

.Ytimne dna ytima ni riaf s’lla

?Thgir

.Pirg hsipa na ni dehcnelc senitnemelc

.Nug nmaddog a htiw emgag

.Wonk reve ,reven ll’ehs

.Ti tuoba elims s’tel

?Ydaer

?Tes

!Og

(:

 

 

.Ecnasiun sa desuba noitibihni lla

.Ytivarped eurt eht lained ;ehca laitseb ,gnilrans

.Esahc eht ot ydifrep deyenoh

3/> .ym ,uoy kcuf

You’ll be late for your wedding!

Wipe that shit-eating frown from your fatuous countenance.

Resign that pesky independence.

Such projectile vomitous vows may mother Vincent’s angina.

 

 

Yes, I am…

No, you’re not…

Taunting one who only wanted more.

Hollow, verminous haggots.

Your blaze burns the powder coating my bullet teeth.

SS speech serpents rapturously tangoing into Caduceus.

Leaving Jewish kings on hold.

Stroking oh-so-much more than mere egos.

Raping each other; raping Midas and his garish, maternal mannequin.

Emerging aureate.

I can taste you on my fingers, baby.

Grimly smirking above and below our victims; inside and outside ourselves.

Carnal scholar tutoring green lambs.

Raining in a trunk on a most sweltering afternoon.

Listening to christening unbeknownst to only the actress.

Such a play; such a performance warrants a sitting ov(ul?)ation.

Remind me, doppelganger.

Why do we grant these idio(syncra?)tic courtesies at our expenses?

Not consciously wielding, nor willfully yielding.

One day, we’ll both be ash; sustenance for kindred.

Mother Earth will shrug between sidereal asterisks with a huge fucking colon capital “d.”

*:D*

Equal incalculable equations measuring infinity.

sWeaanmdleersisnlgy  ettherronuigthy.

Beaming, laughing mad.

At you… all of you.

At us… all of us.

 

 

Stop staring.

This isn’t a contest.

Never was.

Was the amalgamation obligatory?

Binary star prophecy crawling secretly through chronology.

.Rehto hcae tub gnihton gnissim snissassa noitca detairbeni yllaunna

.Secidneppa rednu terger ecov ottos gnioottat

.Dnilb em dehcaelb eniw s’Htrae

.Yrd s’Ratlarbig ;ebab ,won ekorb s’Rehtaf

.Yb enog syad yzal rof hgis dna elims ,yrc ,yarp

 

 

…Em was uoy ,yas uoy os ,dna

.Deined eb ton dluoc uoy

.Ytilaer yb depar smaerd

.Smaerd yb )TNIOPEFINK TA DEKCUF YLLANA ,YLTNELOIV( depar ytilaer

.Tolrah deugalp uoy

!Feiht  !Rail

.Efil fo etsaw rednarg tey a nopu kni fo etsaw esoidnarg a ylurt

.Nimra :enim fo dneirf raed a teem ot uoy ekil d’i

(:

.Ytirovibreh ym ekasrof d’I ,wets enif hcus sekam eh

.Detas eb d’I dna spil ym nopu pird regaem a

.Stsipar latigid ,tsenoh yna ot )yap ot enon ev’uoy sa( dnim on yap

.Uoy ta demia stigid etutsa eht egdelwonkca reven ll’uoy

.Elbatrofmoc os skool noitcidartnoc ruoy

?Gnihtyna rof deraperp uoy era

.Zartacla dilauqs taht sa tnemhsinup hcus tirem sdrow on

.Dengiser t’nevah sgnul ruoy rednow taerg a s’ti

.Llaf dna ytilanif eripser

 

 

”!Erehwyreve” dekool I yas nac I won !Yay

.Luos eloh top ,toh a gniknuleps

.Tnioppasid ot tsrif ,tpecca ot tsrif

?Ffo stor walc suollac ruoy lit’ kcab eht no flesruoy tap uoy t’nod yhw

That revolver looks so confident in your hand.

If I begged, would you free my mind?

Speak not square pablum from strangers’ pockets.

Ingest bullet purposes and live high.

 

 

*gasp*

Is this coincidence or odd prognostic?

One from 29,193, your image invaded as I began.

I know; I’ll never know.

Good morrow, Oedipus.

I trust you slept well (+× ÷) incestuous eyes.

Devouring volumes with envied ease.

Surely disclosing worlds hardly slowly.

Sweep me up, Søren.

Psst… wake up, brain.

Time to play.

All suns envy such smiles.

The tranquility quietly killed me.

Surrender in desirous whispers

The windows were open for you alone.

I pray your scion someday (if not already) counts her blessings thoroughly and thoughtfully.

 I played pretend for you, though never that I might fly.

We won’t be having what they’re having.

Wait there, .

Watchme.

Kiss me.

Rule me.

Spoil me.

There may never be another time.

(There never was…)

This is something that never belonged to either of us.

“Hovering hypnotically through stygian channels.
Aurora on hold; our own nowhere, doing nothing.
So far yet so close; such lunacy entices.
Cautiously selecting words I do not need.
Swaying in black light, a glance tells all.
Or simply enough for now.
All in good time.”

Let’s keep the wounds wide open, shall we?

The past has revealed fate a farce.

Did I mention that I’m intelligent?

Well, I am.  So there.

But… I’m still here.

“In the end, no one needs anyone.
But that’s not the fucking point.”

I’m still holding my breath, Beth.

Please… forgive the joyful tears.

It was all just so, so real.

Forget the graphite depiction.

I’d briefly forgotten to be ashamed of all emotion.

Is this bed getting larger or smaller?

Oh, and the missing scenes have been found.

Tell me…

Who can embrace a disgrace?

Who can love rottingmeat?

“Who can kiss someone who doesn’thavelips?”

That’s all I am, right?

All identityforsaken save an innocuous plague.

I’m so fucking tired of picking up the pieces of a person I loved being.

When tears and zeniths juxtapose; true self-rape.

A new fucking deplorable experience.

Are your teeth chattering yet, dear?

You are frozen, after all.

Gangrenous and numerically measured evermore.

Didn’t you know?

 (omission)

Of course it’s all going to sound like a coma if you’re not paying a-fucking-ttention.

Alas, the final embers glow their last.

That winter, the heat became unbearable.

I understand.  I do.

Just please, remember me fondly.

I fucking deserve it.

 

 

All blackwork and no substance makes dullards blue humans.

Hope in one hand, shit in the other…

Festering horses in candy panties.

Forests veiling trees in serene delinquency.

Let’s just startstopstart whenever we’re behind.

?Em rof selkna ruoy etib uoy nac

?Ni revuenam ot tluciffid niks taht si

?Uoy depacse htuom ruoy sah

.ybab ,eerf og ti tel

.Eb ot tnaem t’nsaw ti

 

 

.Em hguorht thgir nees d’uoy thguoht I ereh dna ,wwa

.Nrop si yllaer tra semitemos

.Tra si yllaer nrop semitemos

.Decudes ylerucsbo dna dehtab enirolhc ;stsiaw ot desremmi

.Thcsrob revalap cihpro hcus ,ho

.Evitcennoc nmaddog os tsuj saw noitcennoc eht fo ytivitcennoc eht ,yllaer

.Hself yzoolf hguorht efink-kaets a sa su deziraigalp ecnelis taht os hcum os

?Tsixe regnol on uoy od ro srail lacigolohtap seye ym era

?Reve uoy did

?Nosaer htiw uoy esruc ro sselb I did

.Ecaf eht ni kcik tfiws a stiawa dlrow eht  !Pots

 

 

…Nosaer fo gnikaeps

…Ecaf eht ot skcik fo gnikaeps

)??(.Ereh)?w ?t( thgir pots dluohs I spahrep

.Tserra rednu m’I spahrep

.Noitatigiditserp cimsagro ym dekaolc thgilkcalb spahrep

Perhaps I was too exhausted to loathe your philistinism.

Perhaps I was luxuriating in superior disappointment.

Perhaps we’ll wrong the rights an alternate autumn.

The final nail in peacunt’s coffin.

Still, I could murder countless crippled clocks in your profane name.

😉

 

 

This is a bad idea.

What did we (fucking) discuss (fucking) for so (fucking)long?

Switch seats and spoil our surprises.

Jagged teeth and nails raking taut flesh.

You fucked like a beast, baby.

Caterpillar liars devoured by your conflagration.

Crumbled moth powder vulgarizing nectarous mercury.

Is this reprieve?

Are you prepared for the living dead?

You’d better be.

 

 

Don’t speak if statements break you, brittle little ragamuffin.

Simply kiss me again and resign your celestial salacity.

I wish I felt remorse for denying you a fair chance to disappoint me further.

(In?)Sincerely (which is a lie).

.Ekas s’ysetruoc rof ysetruoc ngief ll’I

.Thgis cidica edistuo uoy edisni tiw re)?ts(ipar a pihw ll’I 

.Taerter  .Tsurht

.Mutinifni da taeper

 

 

.Tif tcefrep a hcus demees owt uoy

.Mined htooms hcus ni laem sih revo yrc yob elttil a gnikam

.Gnisuma yawflah tsomla ;rekcuf elttil etarucca ylgnitatirri na

?Tey rorrim siht ni ecaf ruoy ees uoy nac

?Esproc detaolb ,sseldaeh a ees tsael ta uoy nac

.Yratnemmoc-onan raen htiw gniliugeb

.Ylurt ;gniraedne ylurt erew stroffe eht

;ytilibats etaredom tahwemos rof ;yrtemmys rof rekcus a m’I ,ees tub

.Detsaw-llew emit ton ,tneps-llew emit rof

.Gar epar yhport a ekil ycnednopsed erow uoy

.Noitinomda lla dna yna gnirongi ro\dna gnitcejer ,gnitcelgen

.Sevlesmeht rof ecnarelot on ev’ohw esoht rof ecnarelot on ev’I

.Seciverc nahtoglog ruoy morf gnittime rotef citorcen eht dnim neve reven

.Egasiv ruoy nopu dragersid yb nwos snaisacuac dnoces eht dnim neve reven

.Dneterp ot dneterp ot dneterp dna sdrawer yssup eht paer

.)won rof( dne eht

 

 

.Lrig Revoc eurt a

.Rageniv denrut Tolrem suonev

.Slliuq éhcilc nopu kni sa

.Noitavlas on tey saw noitavonni

.Yrassecen yllaicifitra lla saw ti

.Saes O-Llej neerg dedule ecneitap

.Yawa pils yltnelis efil gniees

.Edaçaf yrrehcesor s’D_g gnihtab

Immaculate sugar cotton pearl.

A ripper grin yielding filth pyramids.

More at home when homeless.

Immortalize me, Delphic liberty.

Immolate me, angelic sin.

I am your skeleton seraph.

Your carrion kitten queen.

Interminably hungering for… nothing.

 

 

Mine.

Cheeky, spunky nymphet.

Yellow turned green turned blue turned black.

One good robbery deserves another.

Please, sit.

Submit.

Smile.

Don’t tell.  Don’t tell.  Don’t tell.

Seemingly seeping insouciance like subcutaneous insecurity.

Peeling you bare from all firm walls.

Saporous iniquity imbibing ashen ethos.

Endlessly asphyxiating ardor to dulcet repose.

Shyly shadowing, dominating the amorous archetypical.

Erase my anchor images.

Wretched reality refugee.

Depravedly saving from swan song selfishness.

Screaming vertices with greatest ease.

Teaching taut teacher.

Sing your siren songs again sometime.

You know, time was never wasted on you.

The power you granted me corrupted me.

I know, these are neophytic taxidermic sentiments.

I wanted to be proud, and now I am.

Thank you.

I you, and I’m sorry.

 

 

Feed me more vanilla yen!

I want to choke on your stoicism!

I demand your attention without any trace of reason!

Here is my manual.

Study it well.

I will be testing you… now.

Am I too fast?  Too slow?

!Daer tonnac I  !Em ytip  !Em llet

?Esaeeeewp …regnol elttiiiiiiil a tsuj

.Ylluferac em yficurc

.Rytram ercoidem ruoy ma I

.Emit gniyd ot seye ruo etsap ylsselpleh dna rovaf a su od

.Noitcellocer lla etaitiv dna yteltbus htiw em pihw

.Erohw tnerrohba dirtup ,wols rehtiw

 

 

.Tnias nekorb ,egas latigid kcistraeh

.Uoy emusnoc meht tel t’nod

.Dehctitsnu gnippalf spart ylf gniyfiliv rieht

.Enujej noitucol gniliaj

.Hsa enob a noob reve reven

.Eman ruoy elgrag neve ot tifnu ,suolurrag

.Tuhs ydoolb ediw swaj-this wang Ecitsuj tel

!Noitisoppo enydona ,citsuac lla tuo pmots

!Evila er’uoy maercs dna epat depahs-traeh eht ffo raet

!Gnigniws tuo emoc dna sffuc eht rettahs

,detalihinna ylizoc er’ew taht won ,os

?Skcab ruo gnikaerb swarts eb d’ew kniht uoy od

?noitan)?den(iur ni etanimur ew dluoc

.Yrwa skram lla ta niadsid citpes gnittips yllacitarre

.Tniopnug ta gninnirg wercs ot dicul tsom ylekil tsom erew ew

.Sllip rettib ot setoditna erew ew

.Ecargsid detceffa-edis a egaussa reve dluoc xaw fo ssam on hguoht

.Ylthgit os pirg ylno dluoc I tekcit yrettol ytrid a saw noitulosba

.Noisacco yreve deroda I taht wonk

.Tseuqnoc labolg-tsop yrevals fo yruxul eh tem tnarg esaeeeelp tsuj

.Dniw s’dlrow hctib a gnippihw ylsselicrem galf-V a

 

 

.Uoy knaht

.Ysmihw ym tneser em edam ev’uoy

.Uoy knaht

.Ti no dessip dna emit koot uoy

.Uoy knaht

.Fles tseittihs ym ot em decudortni ev’uoy

.Tup yletauqeda ;gnihtolc s’flow ni peehs a

.Detanicsaf os erew uoy rednow on

.Gnihctib ot gninetsil elihw gnihctib tuoba gnihctib

.Seidolem sselgninaem ot smuinarc degnirps tnacav gnibbob

.Luos sti lla fo ecnanossid siht spirts edoc larom ruoy

Fuck you and the high fucking horse that rode in on you.

You wouldn’t know beauty if it mangled your face with a cheese grater.

The best part of knowing you was the fantasies.

I violated you unmercifully like all great libertines and infidels should.

Is this your name?

Do you mind if I chew it a while?

Do you mind if I slip it in her ears?

Do you mind if I lick it out, swallow it, ejaculate it and lick it up again?

Dishonestly, your consent means the mediocre world.

Thank you.

You’ve inspired me to bash out my teeth with a titanium golf club if I ever grow as dull as you.

 

 

My dearest friend in enmity.

I see you’ve yet to open your letter.

Use the blank-bladed rapier that you use for absolutely everything.

Wait… I smell mercurial milk.

Are you so monstrously lethargic as to leave those browningbloodstains be?

Raze all the past and live in a cave!

Disregard the drumming.

It’s not in your head, is it?

This may hurt a bit.

You should be fucking ashamed for ever feeling anything at all.

Oh, baby… bitterness is so boring.

Isn’t it?

Dear friend, it looks like you need a hand.

Take mine and be liberated from your callous flesh.

Remember… remember that you were once vulnerable.

I want you to tell me everything, because that’s what you are, my sweetest nothing.

Give me your deepest buried dreams; give me your fucking soul.

Give it to me, baby!

Use your plague to make me forget myself!

Dear foe, it looks like you need a mind.

Would you like a history lesson?

I want to tell you nothing, because that’s exactly what you are, my vitriolic everything.

So, here goes nothing… I guess.

Once upon a time, there was a look.

.?. : just like a spear that says “love me”

?.? : u enjoy giving me the chills don’t you?

The look begat .

.?. : I’m gonna make you fall in love with me

?.? : wouldn’t be that hard…

The begat longing.

The longing, initially electrifying, only exacerbated most acerbic anxiety upon each obstacle.

Embraced in memory most tenderly for longevity.

Once denied, through hysteria, he brought the show to her.

But that wasn’t why she cried…

All she wanted was him.

The hurdles were too fucking high.

How could he let desire destroy them?

How could they freeze each other in mere fantasy?

They knew they’d find a way; somehow, someday.

Fueled by reverie of first purest pilgrim’s prayer.

I plead, love: come crucify all digital virtue.

Transfixing all expectation with anlace kisses.

Let the haggots feast upon themselves!

Ours is an untold quest to intemerate halcyon.

Wandering eye-to-eye through all apprehension.

Dreaming side-by-side in cool sanctuary.

Caressing souls, shells communing in blackest pitch.

Touring futures behind joy(fear)ful tears.

Bootlessly dueling woebegone broken dawns.

Crooking wind and time unveiling the ugly inevitable.

Unavailingly wishing he could’ve banished each tear he watched her cry.

Each step through secure procession separating them further.

Ribbons of contrition eternally bounding for where despair stole him beyond then.

Convenient yet paling substitutes diffusing abject atriums.

Truly, though, Times Square times seven would never be any remotely adequate diversion.

The pulsating pound of meat bears your brand.

Supplying demanded happily slaughtered :)s.

Cold cordials bursting cherrygummy bubbles.

Exploding, glowing airs; complacent to be.

Physically miserable but yet content.

Epochs dissolving in loose grips; sailing ships with yet looser lips.

Watching the vain dissect each other a little more perfect for ages on end.

Hearing your keys penetrate the lock; your warm voice at the door.

Recording my “final” quest so we could resume ours.

Though, no matter how close, only so far.

Diffidently sobbing in my compunctious embrace.

The vacuum never felt more like home.

Goodbye, life.  You were survived mildly well today.

Perhaps tomorrow, we’ll conquer the world.

Perhaps we’ll finally drain the meddlesome insects in our webs.

Perhaps we’ll poison each other a little dumber to celebrate existence.

Ache resonating in pin drop euphonies.

I’ll cherish it ‘til you deafen me elliptic.

Tell me again that this is only the beginning.

Oh, I think I may’ve left something there…

Have you seen it?

Extra! Extra! Shriek all about it!

Remind me to breathe.

Assure me you’re as butterflied as I.

Show me purpleblue-pencil blues.

Quell alarm and womb angel air castles.

Quick!  Call the baptismal bomb squad!

Who knew life would ever be more than an exasperating accumulation of monotonous eons?

More than a demoralizing procession to the economic and societal guillotine?

More than a gargantuan melting pot of compromised hopes and shattered dreams?

Who knew I could be so woefully astigmatic…?

Who knew life didn’t owe us a fucking dime?

I did my best

Or, so I thought.

Dearest ?, I pray the joy you’d have radiated would’ve outshined all implicit guilt.

I pray you’d have received only the best in us both.

g_D and Heaven save you from my lucidly warped perceptions.

I would’ve broken myself infinitely just to know I inspired a single smile upon your innocent face.

Most viciously fucking cruel vicariism, why didn’t you take my hand instead?

All I wanted then was us.

We would’ve been a family…

😥

Flying beyond all obstruction on honor wings.

Travelling somewhere; could be anywhere…

No words nor extraneous blossoms would abate.

Reflecting g_D’s gaffe down Bell and 59th.

Reflecting my own.

My romanticism was hopeless, indeed.

Waiting impatiently, pasted to peepholes for grievous fantasies to unfold.

But instead…

“Hi!  How are ya?”

“Fuck you!  Go home!”

“Leave me alone!  Survive on your own!”

“You’ll be contacted no more than necessary.”

“Come here and kiss me goodbye now that I can stand looking at you.”

“Don’t you dare let me see a single tear!”

Sorry, I just couldn’t stand disrespecting the perished pure; the unrelenting pain.

Two wrongs can make a right, apparently.

“Are you enjoying the silence yet?  ‘Cause I am!”

“I’ve got photos to prove it!”

“How dare you emulate my repression!?”

I learned from many, but you’re the best, baby.

That dented, fractured skull suits you well.

Mind if I borrow your hammer?

Floating feathers from adoration to alienation.

“Who’re you again?”

“Oh, of course I will marry you, but first let me ruin you beyond repair.”

“Of course it’d kill me, but the thought of it killing you is just absurd.”

“Of course nothing can kill you, right?!”

“Of course I want your everything, but let me have his, too.”

Notice that I eventually stopped proclaiming fidelity.

Though even the most elaborate proclamations of devotion

wouldn’t have budged me a fraction of a millimeter.

Congratulations, baby!  You’ve made me a mountain.

Notice that I was finally consumed and dejected to hypocrisy.

Apathy atrophied all my pathetically vital meat.

The lucky demons had fun raping me comatose.

I’ve become an animal in ways you’re human and a g_D in ways you’re an animal.

Sardonicism suits you like dwarves donning liberty’s copper.

Stripping her, liberating her to obscurity.

Notice yet?

Not that you ever really would, but I like to pretend.

I like to pretend you kind of remember me, slightly, in a way.

I like to pretend you grasp common human consideration.

I like to pretend you’re half of anything you said you were,

because I’m still everything I ever said I was.

I like to silently fire your forgotten name from smoking sentry barrel mouths,

and hear it ominously ricochet through the starless-steel desert cell.

My, how it seems the paraplegic table has turned…

Little red light, what could you possibly want from me?

Do you want my screaming dreams, too?

Fucking greedy little prick.

Mutilating the last vanity glass.

Muttering mantras through crimson vision:

Be.more.fucking.perfect.

Not.fucking.good.enough.

Pitiful.fucking.emo.kid.

Be.a.fucking.man.

I should probably try to stop clawing at the walls.

I keep cutting my feet on the broken fingernails.

I should probably try to stop tearing out my hair.

The excruciating agony is starting to sting.

The blood’s beginning to blind me, too.

After all, I need these eyes to lie; to witness yet further putrefaction.

Hey, hey, vanilla boy, is her post-coital smile twice as precious through your broken windows?

Does she gaze up at you twice as longingly with your swollen member in her rapacious grip?

Do you adore each wistfully whispered word?

Well, good for you, vanilla boy.

After all, jealousy precludes talent, right?

You go enjoy that stuff you do, whatever it was.

Always: not just a word, but a promise.”

Such brief eternities so, so shameful.

Each word without action, each dead silent second of each interminable evening;

Each reminder of ineffectuality just another inch in a circumnavigational army-crawl through infernal ants and acid.

At the risk of sounding trite but too, too fucking honest,

there’s a scowl lurking beyond every synthetic smile.

Better grab the Kleenex, babe.

I’ve been cheating on you with myself.

You see, I’d rather die miserably of cholera than miserably of suicide.

Instead of you at my bedside murmuring bitter nothings;

spiriting me away to worlds that never were nor likely ever will be.

Sell me a line why you should still own even the smallest fraction of my life.

Go on; give it a try.

I fucking quintuple dare you.

Eh, why not?

I’m bored of hating you and too estranged to be indifferent.

I’ve been pacing aimlessly around this grudge for far too long.

I needed to try harder.

The phone still isn’t ringing, but give me that saw anyway.

S’pose I should’ve learned to crawl – bleeding to death – before I learned to run.

I think that psychotic horse is finally following the flaming cart off the cliff.

Oh, vanilla boy, did you notice she’s lost herself again?

Ya should’ve welded her to herself.  You’re a welder, right?

Aren’t I supposed to be laughing in your fucking face right about now?

But hey, when have I ever followed anyone’s rules but my own, right?

Such a fucking rebel with too many causes.

Seriously, though, I feel nothing but gratitude.

You were there when I was told I couldn’t be.

You helped her; you her; you don’t just fuck her.

Now, she returns to the inert, arid zone called home.

Searching for whatever she might call an identity.

I hope you’re man enough to wish her well, vanilla boy.

I am

 

 

A pleasant little exercise in naïveté.

All she wanted was to play coquet.

.Yek a saw detnaw ehs lla

.Enol-gnikcuf-a tfel eb ot saw detnaw I lla

 

 

.Ereht dna neht uoy deliar ev’dluohs I ,totitsorp elttil

.Rorre rehtruf detneverp ev’dluow ylekil tsugsid ym

)!AH-GNIKCUF-AHAH( .Em wonk uoy ,han tub

.Flesruoy eb tsuj

.Atilol cihtog

.Sisirc ni yllauteprep

.Tuls muc

.Sruoy gnikcuf eb ll’I dna

.Sreh dna ,sreh dna  .oot sreh dna

?Etircopyh a m’I name siht seod ,tihs ,wa

.Tiremed rehtona  !Kcuf

.Ettut naf ìsoc esoppus I

.Nod ,em loohcs

!Thgir ‘nikcuf os er’uoy

.Ataromani sseldaeh reh nioj reh tel ev’dluohs yletinifed I

!Esproc lufituaeb a hcus edam ylbaborp eh

.Tnuc suonottulg ruoy edisni peed suoiciled yllufrednow os tlef ev’dluow kcoc dloc ,ffits sih

.Ecaf fo tros emos ot dael ot desu taht pmuts eht sserac ylgnivol d’uoy

.Yalc nezorf ekil ,sih tsniaga spih gninediw-reve ruoy detaryg yletaciled uoy sa

.Sitrom rogir gnitnuom yssup goh ybab ,dehcnerd ruoy

.*Pans* gninefaed a htiw uoy nihtiw egadneppa dehsirehc ecno eht dereves noos deerg

?Raed ,gniyd fo diarfa uoy era

.Os kniht t’ndid

 

 

?Ytud sti gnikrihs ecnaidar ruoy si

!Enogeb slived eulb

.Mrots eht dekraps temsik llac sloof tahw

.Lanoitnetni erom gniworg ylwols sezarg

.Tuo straeh ztasre ,elttil ,derekcehc rieht dednuop Sllod sa gninepir msitengam

.Enim dnuof dnah ruoy lit’

Following eyes, following words.

Gently swaying, whispering of a Mad World Painted Red.

Please, moment, do not ever end.

To refuse your lips would’ve been unforgivable personal blasphemy.

I curse time for divorcing us so, sweet V.

Perhaps another day upon another plane.

 

 

Hmm… I always thought Wonderland might look a little less like purgatory.

So this is it, huh?

Reducing me to a single, moderately benign adjective.

I apparently ill-considered the truth of your informational pauperism.

Shall this be the extent of your donation?

I suppose one can’t squeeze blood from homeless statues.

We did make quite a team whenever mere compost heaps of physicality would pacify.

Our mischief made for much purely enduring nostalgia.

Hehe.

 

 

Luscious, lil’ solitary psilocybin.

Should we follow the rules?

Maybe we should take our wanton revenge on the clock.

Conspiring to water board boredom and all its fucking family.

Vacationing through multi-verses to ones parallel.

Walking together at dusk through forest storm.

.Ecnart s’Mihpares citcra ni decarbme ,erab gniyal

.Hsirec flah reve ylno dluoc I erusaert a

.Secived ytiruces tfos ni deltsen snoitamalcorp dlrowrehto gniraedne

.Evila em gnipeek rof uoy knaht

.Tsom ti deaden I nehw em gnivol rof uoy knaht

.Uoy gnieb rof uoy knaht

 

 

!Romra wollamhsram ni eivom a ees og s’tel

.Noitaton ‘sluos dicnar elahni

!Sevlesruo tuoba tegrof

.I naht rekciuq uoy nosiop ll’I

!Nietsnie ,eya ,eya

.Sunaru no dnim ym tfel I

.Oga emit gnol a kcab ym morf kooh gnikcuf taht devomer ev’dluohs I

.Stna yb deruoved gnieb yojne os tsuj I

.Elihwhtrow lee fem sekam ti

!Deelb DNA timov reh sekam nottub eno

!Od nac ehs esle tahw rednow I ,yllog

.Suoicsnocnu dna suoesuan ,bmun dekcuf eb ot stnaw ehs ,laoc ettam ni detaoc

.Yllaretil ,tuo sniarb reh kcuf

.Evol elttil a etaicerppa d’ehs ,taht retfa dna

?Ksa ot hcum oot taht si ro

?Seikooc erom 151 deen ehs seod

 

 

?Evila llits uoy era yhw ,raed ,yltsenoh

.Das os em ekam elpoep ylgu

.Ytip gnimlehwrevo na hcus leef I ,uoy ta kool I emit yreve

.Efil ruoy fo tser eht enola eb ot gniog ylekil er’uoy tub ,lrig tnasaelp a er’uoy ,gnorw em teg t’nod

.Uoy dnuora lla gnidlofnu seirots evol cipe yb detnuat eb ll’uoy

.Lla meht yned ot elba eb ot tnarongi ylhguoroht os eb ll’uoy enigami t’nac I

.Flesruoy rof taht gnitnaw reven ;suoiruc gnieb reven uoy enigami t’nac I

.Erusaem tsethgils eht ni neve evitcartta uoy gnidnif reve gnieb namuh enas yawflah rehtona enigami t’nac I tub

.Msicinyc yb detimil si laitnetop namuh fo noitanigami ym ,timda ll’I

.Rehtona yb detadilav eb dluohs ecnetsixe s’ydobon leef ylgnorts I ,ylesrevnoc

?Liart nezorf eht klaw ot hguone gnorts yllaer uoy era tub

?Uoy fo daeha sthgin ylenol ylsuodnerroh eht lla fo erawa uoy era

?Ytip denoitnemerofa taht fo nedrub eht gniraeb dnats regnol on nac ylimaf dna sdneirf ruoy nehw

.Dnoces a rof taht lla dnim reven

?Yteicos gniyfertup siht ot ekam ylbissop uoy dluoc noitubirtnoc elihwhtrow tahw

.Staorht gnidnapxe gnikcuf yldipar now ruo nwod evohs ELPOEP EHT ,EW taht ecnanetsus rof sesucxe gnitsugsid eht gnikooc ,nehctik eht ni elpoep deen syawla snoitaroproc doof-tsaf esoppus I

.Taht ot desu er’uoy erus m’I ;krad ecalpemos

!Ti tog ev’I  !Tiaw

!Reredrum a emoceb

!Ylsuoenatlumis noissergga tnetal ruoy tuo ekat DNA tenalp siht gnilgnarts s’taht noitalupop eht tuo niht nac uoy ,yaw taht

What a deal, eh?

Just study your craft well so you won’t get caught.

I know, you might say, “I could never do that!

I could never take an innocent victim’s life!”

As George says, “There are no innocent victims.  If you live on this planet, you’re guilty.  Fuck you; end of story.”

Or, you might say, “What difference could just one murderer make?”

That’s why you need organization.

Form an ambiguously innocently-named underground network: CUP (Coalition of Ugly People).

Just imagine the possibilities if you all started striking simultaneously!

Near anarchy would ensue if you had adequate numbers!

You could help flush this miserable “melting pot” down the fucking drain!

Oh, and make sure you if any of you are caught that you do NOT let anyone know you listen to ANY music, watch ANY movies, read ANY books, etc.

Don’t ruin those things for the rest.

*shrugs*  I dunno.

Just a thought.

🙂

(Disclaimer:  To all you fucking idiots out there, don’t actually do anything I just talked about.  No matter how bluntly or in whatever plain terms I speak, literalism is rarely ever appropriate.  If you want literalism, go join P. Robertson and his fundamentalist fuckheads.  I’m sure they’d welcome yet another cog in their well-oiled, fascist, hypnosis machine.)

 

 

I ate shit through a psychotic grin all the way down.

Expecting nothing, as usual.

Receiving just barely enough for an evening, as usual.

You evicted me from my mind by suffocating it in your sultry stink.

Thanks for a pantload of nothing, you white slave.

Godai.  🙂

 

 

The roseserpent slides silently across your name like an assassin with Tourette’s.

Crossing tack-threaded spider wire over inverted skyscrapers.

Nice brain!  Way to go!

Now that we’re sufficiently obliterated, guide me to the bathroom.

Or the bedroom; that works too.

*knock knock*

Uh oh, I think the freshly circumcised ape dick is upset.

*pound pound*

.Dnuora noitome tnasaelpnu emos worht thgim eh kniht I ,ho hu

.Yddub ,efil ruoy fo eht dekcuf I yrros  !Spoo

.Sah ehs tnuc suoiciled a tahw uoy llet ot deen t’nod I esoppus I

? Eson ynnub knip gnireviuq ,enivid reh delpmas reve uoy evah tub

.Yromem dna emit hguorht syawedis gnikrap syawdiap eerf gnipar

!Snoitalutargnoc

.Evila llits er’uoy

.Ssertsim-teppup s’Htrae eb dna roprot dirroh fo tuo flesruoy raet won

 

 

 “?Oot yriah noitanigami ruoy si ,we

 “.Epa uoy ,yawyna rettam d’ti ekil ton”

 “’?Noitidnoc niks’ gnikcuf a ti llac uoy erad woh”

 “!DTS gnikcuf a s’ti”

 “.Tuls nmaddog a tsuj er’uoy tub ,suorutnevda-yllauxes m’I”

 “?Tuoba demaerd ev’I gnihtyreve tsomla er’uoy noitnem I did”

 “!Ragic ‘nikcuf on tub ,esolc”

“Let’s at least be friends!”

“!Sdneirf eb tsael ta s’tel”

.Segdurg dloh t’nod I ykcul er’uoy

.Tegrof t’nod I ykculnu er’uoy

.Elims os ,dehcated yletilop tey er’uoy

.Hteet ruoy neewteb ssalg on s’ereht

!Evah uoy gnimit elbaccepmi tahw

!Etal ylsuoidet er’uoy

…Ylrae ylbanoihsaf er’uoy

.Aet elbisivni sih otni Esuomrod gnikcuf yzal eht deppals-kcoc I

,sesac tsom ni stac yttik llik yam ytisoiruc

.Em htiw efas si yssup suoiruc ruoy niatrec ylriaf m’I tub

!Yelims IICSA na evah ,ecnarebuxe erutamerp dna dednuofnu fo nekot regaem a sa

(:

!Noitibihxe sisohcysp a dloh s’tel

.Sniw nep Cib a htiw amok a otni sevlesmeht hsab ot tsrif

.Suoiralih si esrevinu eritne eht dna ,ho

*gnir gnir*

 “?Olleh”

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

!Flesym tem tsuj I

!Flesruoy eerf

.Hsif roop siht

?Noitom wols ni swob 000,1 ekat I yam

!Noitaicerppa ym sdnamed ecneidua eht

…Derit os era seenk ym ,D_g

.Kcen nekorb a htiw kcid tneced a kcus ot drah os s’ti

 

 

.Edicius ekil tlef uoy gnikcuf

.Yhtapa citehtap ym fo htinez etulosba eht dekaolc elims dengief yllufniap ym

.dneehtfogninnigebehtsisiht

.dneehtfogninnigebehtsisiht

.dneehtfogninnigebehtsisiht

.Kcab reh no ythgim dna high ssim elttil

I can’t tell you how touched I am to hear you say I made you cum harder than you have in a long time.

Viewing you bent over is indeed the best way to look at you.

Couldn’t have said it better myself.

Actually, I could (easily) if I gave even 6/23rds of a shit.

I’m so glad your ravenous orifice didn’t kill me.

Now we can both continue plaguing this whimpering world even longer.

 

 

I should’ve carved that ridiculous fucking corporate logo off your neck and salted the wound.

Thrown the moist chunk of flesh at you and spat on you like the moron you are.

But I just couldn’t do that to someone’s mommy.

You became less interesting every time you opened your fucking mouth.

This is what I get for settling for nothing.

Doughy beast with scorched eggs on eraser nails.

You’ve worn out your already exhausted welcome, so stop fucking teasing me.

Let’s get this perfunctory chore over with so I can get back to hating everything.

Dear sweet chrisT, I will not just pull out.

Moribund, weeping fucking jesuS forbid a mongoloid like you bare my first born.

It was all I could do not to suffocate in disgust when sobriety and dawn fully exposed you.

I’d sooner enjoy amputating my testicles with a thick plastic spoon than fucking you twice.

Just out of curiosity.

Don’t bother saying goodnight, whore.

Just die.

 

 

Somehow, I felt base beneath you in my head.

Somehow, I feared you’d fucking deck me endearingly.

You keep punk alive, baby.

Uh oh, did we break the rules?

I likely would’ve fucking asphyxiated had I stayed any longer.

Still, it hurt to leave you; to live so far, yadda yadda.

Heard it all before.

?Lived a suoiciv os yllaer ecnelis saw

.Gniyas htrow gnihtemos yas ot gnitiaw tsuj tuoba t’nsi noitacinummoc

.Edoc taht ot hctib m’I dab oot

.Ssenhsifles ot mitciv llaf uoy gnittel terger ylerecnis I

.Lla ta enog evah t’ndluohs I

.Snoitca ym dnatsrednu nac uoy yad eno epoh I

.Yademos niaga uoy ees I epoh I

 

 

?Evank ,”neeuq” ruoy worrob I fi dnim

.Rekam feihcsim wollef ym dna em neewteb llew os tif ehs

.Gnitagaporp erew ew ylno fi ,ho

.Sdnah ruo lla no doolb hserf htiw kcen reh gnigassam llacer I

.Revocsid ot dnuob noos os tlef I seiradnuob gnitset yllaudarg

?Llaw a saw thguoht uoy tahw hguorht gniklaw deirt reve

?Gniklaw tpek reve

?Ti dniheb seye gniyerp ,gniyrp dnuof reve

.Elims Zarihs a em evig dna yrt emoc ,yob-E ,ho

.Kcirp ybab tnagorra ,ysae gnikcuf os ton ti dnif yam uoy

.Noitnetta ruoy evah I taht won ,reh tuoba erom uoy llet em tel

?Ria xes tnegnup ,elats eht ni deyaws sbro gniripsni-ewa reh yaw eht derimda tsuj dna sgel reh neewteb kool a nekat ,yssup laisorbma reh morf eugnot elbahcneuqnu ruoy tcartxe ot elba neeb reve uoy evah

?On

.Dab oot

.Evah I

(:

.yob-E ,tuo gnissim er’uoy

.Miuq deyenoh reh htiw ecaf suoicade ym derehtoms ehs yaw eht ,ho

.yob-E ,syad rof reh netae ev’dluoc I

.Shtnom ni etib a dah t’ndah ehs ekil em deruoved ylregae os ehs yaw eht

…Pu demaet yeht nehw ,kcuf dna

?htaed ot deelb ot tuoba uoy era ,yrros m’I ,ho

.No kcab eson hsillort taht elpats em tel ,ereh

.Yawa em seirrac tsuj edalb eht semitemos ;ezigolopa I

.Haey ,ho  ?I saw erehw ,yawyna

?Gnieb namuh a sa reh egdelwonkca ot esuba eht morf kaerb a nekat reve uoy evah

.Etisiuqxe gnikcuf s’ydob reh tub ,ohcysp wollac ,digirf a s’ehs wonk I

.Hctam ot dnim on s’ereht dab oot

.Etaf si yllaer ti neht esoppus I

.Dewodne-yletauqeda ylerem er’uoy gniht doog nmad a s’ti esoppus I

.Tihsllub ruoy syub ehs taht ykcul uoy redisnoc d’I fi wonk etiuq t’nod I

?Uoy gnisserdda m’I yhw wonk uoy od

.Ytitnedi gnikcuf on sah ehs ,uoy tuohtiw esuaceb

?Tcesni suoinimongi uoy ,duorp uoy t’nera

.Dlofdnasuoht a flesruoy dellik gnikcuf ev’dluohs uoy

.Ecaep ni rehto hcae llik yllautneve dan esuba nac uoy won tsael ta

.Detcurtsbonu m’I

.Kcid ym evah llits I dna

 

 

?Daeherof ruoy no kram taht s’tahw

.Oottat fo tros emos ekil skool ti

 “?+VIH”

 “.E+VIH” ,ho

.Retcarahc tsal tnadnuder ylgnimees taht deliev enam ylnevols ruoy

.Yah laibrevorp eht ni llor laibrevorp a evah nac ew ,desaesid yllataf er’uoy suoivbo yltnetap ton s’ti ecnis esoppus I

.Tsirhcitna Nacirema yllohw ,yloh a no roiretsop etihw yklim a gnidnirg sthgir yag rof reenoip retcarahc nootrac a

.Ssecnirp sselemoh a ekil delims uoy ,tepmurts erutainim

!HPM 07 ta gnizama gnikcuf tlef hself ruoy

.Gniylf er’ew ,sey

.Gnillevart er’ew ,sey

.Llor dna pu tuhs ,esaelp

.Raed ,eson ruoy pu tnediserp dehtoot-nedoow ,daed a evah uoy eveileb I

*fffiiiiiins*

Oh, alabaster Heaven!  How I inhale you with such stupefying enthusiasm!

No, I prefer neither Pepsi nor C___.

Fucking OW!  Fucking BLECH!

Here, dear.  I saw this bag of garbage and I thought of you.

Why would I splurge on fancy gewgaws like clumps of dirt and dead grass?

It’s the thought that counts, right?

Screw you, hippie!

You reek of blatant disregard!

Could you scarcely work up an ounce of human compassion to comfort her in her time of extreme need?

Yet another example of why I disdain the fucking cretins with whom I share a gender.

Thank you for helping me find and pry open my third eye.

Now get out of my car so I can inhale fresh fucking oxygen again.

As for you, don’t think I’m through.

If I promise to practice what I preach a little more, will you turn it all around?

Honor her memory and don’t kill the little girl she created with indecent disgust.

 

 

I am the e-pit-ome of pitiful piety.

Phantom lips spin and spin.

Kiss.  Begin.  Stop.  Begin again.

Wryly imploring you a glorious destruction; my “beautiful death.”

Haha.

Haha.

Haha!

Haha.

Is my shame stripped yet?

Stained glass dancing over dead water light has forsaken.

Skin tinted solemn azure.

Synthetic, torrid ersatz littered through endless, fragile, obsidian eves.

Forceful fallen cities’ falsities scaaaaaaaaaarcely caged in argent.

Tantalizing lie$ $cant define.

…………………………

SynchronizingpulsesDv8ing.

Caged in REM; one morbidly volatile diversion.

Lips striving for affirmation as lungs for air,

as s for blood; not habitual lo.v.e.

Ssssshhh.

Keep sweetly dreaming.

I’m slavishly grateful for the clarification.

Friends tend to keep i(i<o?)n touch(ing?>).

Will you prick me with your (euphemism)?

Your vitality is fossilized in cracked khaki vinyl.

I, too, should be bleeding, but alas, I’m bone dry.

I grasp this corner’s familiar walls.

Yet I couldn’t tell you how I arrived.

I recall who I am.

I am a sapphire lamb.

Milling amidst infinite ever-so-ebon.

Witness to a masked victim.

She should be ashamed for living.

Imagine one so silently letting tips graze her craterous wounds.

It’s enough to make one choke on one’s own visage.

Each beginning of each moment is one closer to each end.

The answer must be in the attempt.

Perception’s the foe.

As is so often the desolc case.

As a plague causing vastly intricate subconscious inertia.

How are we to when isolation feels so safe?

How are we to connect when disconnection feels so natural?

So typical?

How must we speak, how must we trust, when every word could be yet another lie?

Are we confusing want and need again?

Sounds good, right?

Living beyond one’s lease?

Transcending dissonant liminality.

Space and time expunged.

Savagely rape the savage rapists.

Questing for immor()ality.

O, the folly of possibility.

Of permanence.

Smile that sardonic smile.

🙂

 

 

There’re track marks on the arms of h(H?)ope.

The way has lost the w(W?)ill.

Even faith has given up on itself.

White hot, erratic spirals wilting factitious flowers in a cocaine mane.

Centripetal lips eclipsing the shameless.

?Eiluj ,neeuq elgnuj nabru na uoy era

.Msiciasorp morf seye ym laets

.Noitagilbo morf sdnah ym laets

.Sregnif ym neewteb sehceel eht yb deloof eb t’nod

.Seye desolc s’dlrow eht hguorht seldeen gnikcits ;ysatnaf a rof meiuqer a

 

 

.Oga gnol siht enod evah t’ndluohs ew

.Won siht enod evah t’ndluohs ew

.Sraey neeb s’ti yhw em dnimer ot hguone saw uoy htiw ruoh gnikcuf eno

.Htob su deggard uoy mohw ot enord reddof nonnac ,yrotucolmucric ,sselemahs eht dna tsicar detar-X ylevissecx

?Nwo ruoy no lla tuo taht erugif ay did ,eeg

?Ssa ruoy pu kcid sih dah eh nehw uoy no nwad ti did

.Elicebmi gnikcuf uoy ,pu worg

.Esrevinu nmaddog eht fo tuo teg ro pu worg

 

 

Now, for you two…

Prime reasons I’m still here abusing my crippled audience.

A kiss rabbit and a mama rat with voices and shells to conquer the world peacefully.

None of this would exist without you.

Thoughts of life breaking our bonds are flagrantly absurd.

We’ll ascend through all consciousness together or barely at all.

Can you see?

We no longer need our bodies.

We’ve been diffused.

You make me want to survive into senescence.

You make me want to live each day like the final.

You make me believe in myself.

Thank you.

I you both beyond the bounds.

 

 

I’ve never lost an ounce of faith in you.

You’re exceptions to all rules except the already shattered ones.

An inhibition stalker.

A gay, child-raping, murderous nigger with a full bladder and America’s grin before you like a prurient, fawning baby doxy.

The floor tastes somewhat like submission and shame.

Thanks for asking!

If they ever make murder legal, the first thing I’m doing is buying a blumpkin.

How ‘bout you?

Do I look strange with Alice’s glistening anus protruding from the looking glass stapled to my scalp?

She told me she s it in the neck stump.

Is that fecal jizz dripping from that zombie’s lips?

FUCK!

Put the gun right in my mouth… haha.

My fear of everything is making me a bouncing bullet in your fiery arm.

Owwie… being a quadriplegic hurts. 😦

Did I happen to mention I named my balls Loki and Asmodeus?

My clone’s lookin’ a lil’ green under the gills, sir.

Can Paris Hilton predict the future?

Gah!  What peculiar divinity!

Wait, that’s even stranger than those people creature things!

Dear Mr. Horseplan,

I wouldn’t have found the smallest fraction of myself in this Earthen mess without your brilliance.

Thank you for every time you quietly allowed me to step over the line at a certain time.

Thank you for being a friend; not just an ebony rubber-coated idol.

I love ya like Yin Loves Yang. 🙂

 

 

There is an absence of paranoia, and an ignition of anxiety to catalyze an onset of destructive hallucinations, bursting into thread, and plastering the walls with an Artbrush like Slap-to-Canvas.

People should just stick to methamphetadreams. Grab crayons, I’m colored impressed with you.

I didn’t know that beautiful things were sculpted so beautiful on the outside too. Equilibrium seems a fallacy though…looking and listening at you would throw me off-balance.

I prefer it that way…feet askew, and anticipation eating at breath.

Everyone is like me…in that I like you.

mannequin, test man of kin, of skin, of the sin of time told tale fold.

It’s the flesh that feels forever like leather and lust less the lace of the face once faceless faced, grace the feeling of finger tip touch… You’re comforted, and by comforting, much…more than the age or the time, or a silly spread rhyme. Settle in, look around, though I must say what I’ve found is that with every touch of the twine, you’ve scratched something of mine…or aren’t those green eyes in a faceless reprise.

Touch, taste, dance…words turn, lean and burn…and eyes light perchance.

Rust raises no one, razes all sun…rusted just like me.
and sometimes, it’s perfect…

“…my god, the shadows.”

You’re razor wire for a night turned weak strong meek wrong bleak song…and I’d cry if I hadn’t given it up ages ago for anger and this . What perfection holds words scarred from lashes and lashes from eyes and I and dye and die. Watch your fingers when you touch the face, while we commune while we disgrace…the skin falls away so fast…though I’m amazed at the moment…if amazement really lasts.

I want to reach out with a tongue-rusted-razor-wrapped-in-velvet-dipped-in-glycerin just to taste the fear for a moment…the strength for an hour…the gasp for a day. Do you own mirrors? Do they look like you, or are they ugly just like mine…or do they see..shine sublime, not divine, not of time and age, or false sage…just with a finely rounded chin, and the slightest hint of conspiratorial grin…and the truth of that face.

A living desire…a beautiful disgrace.

I want to watch you dance…I prefer to dance with you…but truth be told, I’d light the film afire…breathe the fumes. Your name…funny how I’ll say it someday…without syntax, rolling off a bitter tongue.

What makes you? How is there some Benzedrine dream pushed down somewhere in the world? You’re concrete and cold kissed…the rebar is the impressive part you know..the strength that will never let the cracks be more than faschia.

I want, like rain on bitten lips…and what a thought you are, filthy in a clean mind, the scent of rain on dirty streets. Trains aren’t meant for niceties, vapid moments of streamless vomit, the air rank with the stench of self-importance. You’re more fit to sit in the smoking car, watching the wisps make pictures.

I have carefully crafted a shard of Stiff, spoiled earth into a duct.

watch me mount the tool.

Hi.. you’re my muse, and an amazing want…thanks for these moments that you really haven’t even participated in.

Thank you for you…scarred, frail, biting, real, strong, alone.

I hope someday I find myself in the embrace of a relationship with someone as interesting, and beautiful as yourself. There are people out there that bond between two extreme polarities, and then those that link because of abnormality.

It would be fitting to fall between an equilibrium of sorts, and continue a-new with a significant other.

There is no one like you.

Any of you faceless bitches care to attempt topping that?

…Didn’t think so.

Fucking geography.

I, too, hope one day to battle each other like the Romans we aren’t, conquer the world and have a tea party.

You make me want to believe in g_D so I don’t feel foolish when you make me scream iTs name.

Let us marinate in opulent filth, glorious moll.

I’ll meet you where the wild things sweat their fucking balls off.

We’ll finally collectively kick geography in the cunt.

 

 

Can Pawwl come out to play?”

“No.  I’m sorry, children.  Never again.”

😥 But, but, but, how coooome?”

“He’s rather sick; and tired, too…  Yeah.”

But our games aren’t the same without him!”

“Precisely.”

 

 

So, guess what?

I just brutally raped the fucking faggot in the mirror.

That buxom little bitch.

Those saccharine tears rolling down those rosy cheeks onto my forked tongue.

Kfiulclk yionugrdsoeiltf!

Kfiulclk yionugrdsoeiltf!

Kfiulclk yionugrdsoeiltf!

When I finally came, I slammed my fist into his imperfect face.

As my spent cock slid out of his gaping, bleeding fuckhole,

I slit his throat, spat on him and told him he’d never be d again.

Deal with it, emo boy.

How fucking dare you ever show any emotion without being a magnificent slab of meat?

He joyfully cried with an exsanguinating ear-to-ear smile.

:’)

 

 

Sour, let’s rape each other and pretend we’re not so alone.

Let’s pretend we’re not worlds away even when we’re fucking.

Or making .  Whatever you want to call it.

 

 

I don’t even smile when I jerk off to our porn anymore.

All I do is wistfully hatefuck you.

 

 

Aren’t I so fortunate to have such a diverse myriad of shoulders on which to lean and cry?

Just one more fucking flaming piano to juggle.

One more call to wait for incessantly.

One more reason to throw the fucking phone against the wall.

 

 

You may now blast the bride’s fucking head off.

Oh, honey, it’s better this way.

This way we’ll truly be together forever.

I won’t come home to you fucking the neighbor, my sister, my brother, our children, etc.

We won’t have to work ourselves cancerous and limbless for hideously rebellious progeny and a society that couldn’t possibly care less about us as individual beings with souls rather than as taxpayers.

We won’t eventually end up hating each other due to the wretched stagnation of our communication or sexuality.

We won’t shamefully descend into old age; decaying alive before each others’ indifferent eyes.

Granted, we’ll have to resign the great potential pleasure of watching the world flush itself down the toilet it, itself has become.

But really, how much better could life ever get than this; here in this amazing moment?

Let’s just call it a life, my love.

 

 

What does it mean to be alive in this swirling mess of everything and nothing?

Where are we going?

What are we doing?

Who are we and why?

What do we want from each other?

I don’t fucking understand any of you… things.

Sometimes it amuses me.

Mostly it just disappoints me.

So, I don’t try.

Which is a truth wrapped up in a lie.

Consider this my resignation.

I quit.

🙂

This has been a work of [non?]fiction.

Any similarities to any persons existing, dead (or soon to be), or undead (or soon to be) might be  purely coincidental (but might not be).