Welcome

Welcome.

Welcome to life.

Prepare to die.

2,453,500,800.

2,453,500,799.

2,453,500,798…

Countdown

Welcome to the beginning of the end.

Deal with it.

No pressure.

Welcome to the source

Can you see it.?.

Prepare for trouble.

For disappointment.

For misfortune.  (Lady Luck’s a fuckin’ bitch.)

For paragons of mediocrity.

Smothering. Fucking! Asphyxiation.

En masse.  Ad infinitum.

Ad nauseam.

Burn alive or simply survive.

(Random slogan.)

Exist in exits.

Survive by accident.

Live on purpose.

(Bumper sticker.)

Cherish the dissonance.

Cherish the distractions.

…cherish them.

In entropy we trust.

(Tattoo.)

 That light… so bright.

Welcome to humanity.

United in death, shit, piss, vomit and fuck.

I’m so g_Ddamn glad to be human.

Aren’t you?

Welcome to the most embarrassing plague to ever inflict the universe with its sustained existence.

 

Welcome to the world.

Yes, welcome to the entire fucking world.

Earth

So, this is it?

This is the extent to which success is measured so meticulously?

g_D, it’s a good thing I know everything about everything already.

I’d be so fucking confused right now if I didn’t.

Am I even old enough for that?

Welcome to separation (read as “independence.”)

Sometimes C-A-T actually does spell “antidisestablishablahblahblah.”

 

Welcome to self-expression!

g_D, your (sic) so fucking deep!

Your (sicoafhfe (“said in context once again for heavy fucking emphasis”)) so fucking possessive!

U fucking pwn me!

U pwn my fucking soul!
 
.
 
Yup.
 
.
 
Totally.
 
.
 
Why fucking bother?

You should go lay down somewhere soft and fuck yourself.

Hard.

And smile.

I promise.

You’d enjoy it (and understand it) much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much more.

(:  ?Ygolohcysp

 

Welcome to a waste of your precious fucking time.

Welcome to a billion (read as “1,000,000,000”) other things you could be doing right fucking now.

Who has any time for introspection when there’s so much money to be made?

Who has any time for creative expression or communication when there are so many magnificent, colorful distractions in which to so thoroughly, mindlessly, absolutely indulge oneself?

Time is money, motherfucker!

Opportunity is bashing in your motherfucking head with a g_Ddamn sledgehammer.
 

Welcome to bullshit that you call poetry.

Welcome to poetry that you call bullshit.

Welcome to words that aren’t stupid fucking poetry.

Welcome to progress with a frown.

Welcome to misunderstanding.

Stop right where you are and give up.

Don’t search for me.

No one fucking lives beyond these words.

 

Welcome to words that don’t affect you at all.
Welcome to words that you read over and over and

overandfuckingoveragainthatmakesyouwanttofuckingdestroysomethingorsomeonebutthatjustfrustratesyouevenfurtherbecauseyouretoomuchofamaterialisticfuckingneatfreaktoactuallydestroyanythingoranyone.  Tyler would be fucking ashamed.

 

Welcome to yet another mental enema.

So fucking cathartic.

Get your cup, girls.

My dearest digital trash aliens.

You must be starving/thirsty.

 
Welcome to reality.

Fuck it.

Hard.

Somewhere soft.

Smile.

May I rape you sweetly now, sweetest of hearts?

As if you weren’t already begging for it.

You did have on a tight bathrobe.

*snicker snicker*

 

Welcome to flesh.

Watch it fucking wither.

Watch it.

Watch it.

Watch it.

Watch it.?.

Watch your youth die before your vacant fucking eyes.

Vacant Eyes

Smile.

Give us your soul (read as “money”).

We’ll make it all go away.

Welcome to beauty.

Don’t let it die!
 
.
 
!
 
.

Oops…

Ew.

Fat people are such wonderful self-mockeries!

Watching ugly people fall in love is so hilarious.

Elephant Man

They’re so adorable!

Marketable, too.
 

Welcome to something that won’t make you one cent richer.

*gasp*

Sharing is caring.

Kiss me, sweetie baby dearies.

Guess where?

RIAA

Go ahead and steal everything.

Make copies of copies of copies.

None of this fucking bullshit belongs to anyone.

And one day, it will all be fucking gone.

Forever.

So fuck it.

Really hard.

Somewhere soft.

And don’t forget to smile

 
Welcome to a secret never told.

Welcome to a soul.

Yadda-yadda-fucking-yadda.

Not worth sharing.

Not worth caring.

Not even out of spite.
 

Welcome to sentences you wish were about you.

Am I telling the truth?

Or can you only trust the voices in your fucking head?

Welcome to a sentence you’re not reading that doesn’t mean a fucking thing.

🙂

 

Welcome to a verbal vomit kaleidoscope.

Open wide and shriek,

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sure is difficult to scream with your throat cut.

Isn’t it, emo boy?

Cutthroat

g_D, you bleed so fucking beautifully.

Not even your precious fucking g_D could keep me from viciously raping that gaping wound.

One razor + one neck = instant fuckhole!

Yay!

🙂

Ya see?  I can say plenty of things I don’t really mean, too!

 

Welcome to religion.

I’m going to slap you in your filthy fucking mouth, you whore.

Deigning, gracing faces of faceless, faggot deities with sophic saliva.

With cookie-thief smirks and piss feathers peek sneaking.

Venerating shitstained, paper baby saviors for melodious money lollies.

I can almost smell them now.

Choke, you fucks.

 

“And g_D said unto man,

‘As your souls fester within your pitiful flesh,

so shall they be plagued by your pathetic humanity.

And I shall spit upon you with great joy

while proclaiming my boundless love for all of you.’”

En-fucking-JOY TO THE WORLD!

THE LORD HAS CUM!

Priest

Open wide, kiddies!

Gargle and try to sing, “Jesus loves me; this I know!”

Remember, Timmy:  this is our little secret…

I apologize for not wiping the blood and shit from my cock, first.

I know it probably tasted a little yucky around the end.

I know the smell was.

Forgive me, Father, for I have raped a child!

Will you autograph my epitaph?

Bible

So, this is your salvation?

Is this really what you believe in?

This is what you call, “peace of mind?”

This is what injects purpose into your empty, lazy fucking life?

Fuck your g_D and all his/her/its ineptitude.

Don’t worry, sweetie baby deary.

I’d never call you a pathetic fucking idiot to your face.

(Greeting card.)

 

Welcome to digression.

Disconnect.

The connections are false truths.

The false truths are honest lies.

(Billboard.)

Smiles masticating fascist façades.

(Sitcom.)

Do not worry.

All states of connectivity are illusions of varying perceptions.

We are all fundamentally (dis)croensnpected.

Ever so pleasantly dejected.

Resign yourself to the halcyon maelstrom called the true world,

because now the burning clouds smell of kerosene and taste like China White.

(Hit single.)

Like bitter bleach drip-drip-dripping through mucus streams.

Cabernet DNA helices spiraling through every water body as we pronounce ourselves anything and everything we fucking want to be forever.

Fuck time.

You still own the air.

It’s still not fair…

Desperate, panting, weeping, pissing beauty the hostage.

(I’m)Purity.  Nice to meet you.

Exhilarating the undead.

Red pill.  Blue pill.  Purple pill.

Fucked and loved.  In love and FUBAR.

Without a sense of urgency, desire loses its value.

(T-shirt.)

 

Welcome to procreation.

Are you ready to populate (read as “pollute”)?

Take my hand and prepare to breed.

Remove your pantaloons and undergarments.

Insert your penis into my vagina.

Hurry up and stick it in.

Now retract it.

Keep it up until you ejaculate.

DON’T YOU FUCKING LOOK AT ME!!

…(omission, omission, omission) Complete.

Thank you.

Now it’s dark

Now get off of me.

Go away.

Oh, and feel free to die, too.

Feel really, really fucking free to die.

 

Welcome to something clever.

Fuck you, too.  🙂
 

Welcome to parenthood.

Did you enjoy producing your little production unit?

Baby

Isn’t human life such a miracle?

So fucking sacred?

“Pop!” goes the miracle!

THUNK!

THUNK!

THUNK!

THUNK!

Whoooaaaa!  Way too many miracles!

Why are there so many miracles?!

Hey, g_D, at what point do miracles become viruses?

Oh, yes, it’s a wonderful life.

 
Welcome to life (read as “survival,” or “existence”) in America.

Go ahead and shove that golden, capitalistic cock up our asses.

Aren’t we sexy?

Fill us with your shimmering, hot diamond jizz.

Wipe us down with the death shrouds of your puppet leaders.

Legal fucking tender as rape rags.

Oh come ooooonnnn.

Wah wah wah.

Boo fucking hoo.

Is it really so bad being force-fed glass shards and feces for 50-60 years?

You’d better stop vomiting!

You’ll never graduate high school!

You’ll never go to college!

You’ll never get a good job!

You’ll never get a car or a house!

You’ll never get married!

You’ll never retire!

You’ll never spend the rest of your miserable fucking existence paying back the debt you owe!

The very fact that you continue to exist is a debt you owe to someone you’ll probably never meet.

And don’t you worry about a thing if you die.

The debt will be shoveled upon those humans who were unfortunate enough to be related to you.

Even dying is too fucking expensive.

 

Welcome to nations united!

Totally, maaaan!

Fuck every single one of you and especially the skeet rag flags in which you blanket yourselves.

 

Sex…

Sex

Violence…

Violence

Sex.

Sex

Violence.

Violence

Sex!

Sex

Violence!

Violence

Say it with me, kids!

Kids

And lick your luscious little lips…

Lips

Colon + right parenthesis.

 

Welcome to love.

.

?!

.

Haha.

Did you come to play or be played?

Love

Are you good enough?

Are you perfect?

You’d better be.

Remember, you did something to deserve this.

Do NOT ask to be reminded.

Do NOT simply communicate openly and honestly.

Words do NOT simply mean what their dictionary definitions claim.

At least, not after the first few months.

Don’t do it too soon.

Don’t be too late.

It’s all about the mind games, baby!

Oh, and never be desperate.

Never be fucking emo.

Or else…

You’ve been warned.

You’ve been warned.

You’ve been fucking warned.

 

Welcome to the most intimate moment imaginable between two steaming, festering piles of humanity.

Was it good for you, too?

Mmm.

Your lies are so fucking delicious.

Can we pretend to tolerate each other foreeeeever?

 
Remember when I welcomed you to reality?

Are you still fucking it?

Are you still smiling?

Good.  Great.  Grand.  Wonderful.

 

Welcome to California (read as “Los Angeles”).

Welcome to the hideous scab on the festering corpse of hope.

Welcome to the meat grinder.

Mmmm… I love your pretty pink hookhole.

I wanna fuck it so fucking hard…

You’d better be on fucking birth control. I’ll strangle you, cunt.

 

Roll your eyes (if you still have them).

Cough up your heart and lungs as if they were actually functional at some point.

Give me your fucking wallet first.

g_D, the cell bars feel so cool on my (facial) cheeks.

They’re such a delightful contrast to the searing pain of your salt-covered cock being crammed up my infant-tight asshole.

Like sleeping on pillows of plastic-wrapped flesh at the fluorescent supermarket.

Vomiting dollar salads for purest purist shit fuel.

Even despair dies here.

Rape me slowly,

rape me gently,

if you please.

A world in pieces is a world at peace.

(Climax.)

Slowly smiling.

 

Welcome to money (read as “paper”).

Do you have enough digits in your bank account to justify sustaining your existence?

How is your fucking credit rating?

Have you ever considered suicide as a form of economic relief?

We are in a recession.

Has the fear of financial strain on your loved ones ever been the only thing left that kept you alive?

You’d love to drive the car into a million different “accidents,” but you don’t want to risk ruining the car.

You don’t want to be another fucking bill.

But too fucking bad.

You’re still only another fucking bill even when you’re fucking dead.

Deal with it, emo kid.

 

Welcome to sweet fucking nothings.

I love you, sweetheart.

And I love you too, sweetheart.

I love him too, because he’s a sweetheart.

And I love her too, because she’s a sweetheart.

I love you all with all my heart, but I definitely wouldn’t trust you enough to rape and impregnate me twice.

One screaming, weeping, bleedingabortion is quite enough, thank you.

I would never hurt you like they did.

You don’t deserve that.

I’m going to rip your fucking tongue out and slap you with it.

Ya know that nagging sense of impending doom?

It’s your world getting smaller and smaller, and smaller and smaller…

It’s your own bullshit running after you.

And it’s starting to catch up.

Are you worth remembering at all?

Even for a little while?

 

Welcome to the truth.

Welcome to lies.

Welcome to the truth wrapped in lies.

Welcome to lies wrapped in the truth.

Welcome to .?. and .!.

Welcome to freedom.

Would you even know what to do with any of it?

Look.  Listen.

Standing upon that plateau, wistfully gazing across the plain,

most of you would run screaming to absolute domination…

 

Welcome to a wholly sincere apology.

Welcome to a whole fucking pile of them.

Are those crocodile tears I hear?

It’s not you.  It never will be you.

It’s me.  It always will be me.

Does my ass look fat in this excuse?

 

Welcome to somewhere you don’t belong.

Welcome to somewhere you’ll never be, though it’s somewhere you’d kill to be.

Welcome to pathetic apathy.

Accept it or give up, baby.

Give Up

C’est la fucking vie.

Welcome to instability (read as “pure fucking chaos”).

Enjoy the melody.

 

Welcome to yet another intoxicant (read as “mind expansion”).

Welcome to yet another drink.

Welcome to your third nostril AND your third eye.

You’re so fucking profound.

Welcome to another fucking needle in your vein.

Welcome to denial.

Definitely not a fucking river.

Enjoy your stay.

Welcome to an empty wallet and an even emptier fucking soul (if that’s even remotely fathomable).

Keep on running.

Keep on running.

Keep on fucking running.

I promise; salvation is somewhere at the bottom of that glass.

Somewhere at the end of that syringe.

Somewhere in the smoke.

Somewhere in the flame.

Vacantly calling your name.

Your favorite hallucination.

Something

“If only you were covered in Bourbon…”

 

Welcome to frigid fucking silence.

 

Frigid.

 

.

 

Fucking.

 

?!

 

Silence.

 

.

 

Welcome to some more of it.

And some more.

And some more.

And some more.

Wrap yourself up in it.

Fuck yourself with it.

Hard.

Somewhere soft.

Smile.

Straightjacket

Welcome to promisespromisespromisesbrokenfixedbrokenfixedbrokenfixed.?.

Are those crocodile tears I hear?

Welcome to yet another fucking endless minute.

Welcome to yet another 4 AM.

Alone.

Welcome to bleeding fucking eyes.

Bloody eyes

Welcome to yet another smile.

Welcome to a ceaselessly impending anxious breakdown.

Welcome to despondent wishes for some sort of guilt-free injury or death.

Show all the Helen Kellers what they left behind.

As if they ever cared.

🙂

 

Here.

Have a flower.

Flower

Have a balloon.

Balloon Crucifix

Have a sunset.

Sunset

Have another beautiful distraction.

Get back to work.

 

Welcome to the opposite side of everything you love and trust.

The purest positive negativity.

Hold your breath.

See if any of us care.

Haha.

🙂

Let the noose tenderly caress you like no lover ever did nor will ever have a chance to again.

Suicide

So beautiful.

So fuckable.

Such potential.

Too fucking late.

You don’t deserve that shit!

You deserve a woman who’ll treat you the way you deserve to be treated!

Not me, though… I can’t deal with you; you genius, you.

Besides, you deserve better than me, too.

I’m just saying.

Yeah.

You truly deserve a round of applause.

Applause

Around and around and around!?!

Your test results are in…

 

Welcome to insecurity

Mirror, mirror on the wall,

Am I worthy of you even a little bit?

Even at all?

“There’s always a chance with tits like yours.”

Tits

Man Tits

There’s always a chance.

Always.

Always.

Always.

Always.

Always.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYours.  Truly.

Yeah.

Right.

For(n)ever starts tonight…

I can’t wait to hear your excuse.

I’m sure it’ll be adorable.

I’m sure it’ll be creative.

I’m absolutely certain it’ll be fucking clever.

Give it to me, baby.

Keep it up.

May I have another?

🙂

 

Welcome to pain.

Make it sexy or shut the fuck up.

Suicide Girls

Such young, tender meat.

Such a great fucking injustice.

Ugly people deserve it, though.

That is, unless there’s money to be made.

Toss some change at ‘em.

It’s the least you can do.

 (Slow-againSlow-againSlow-again).

Welcome to disappointment.

Make yourself at home.

Kick off your shoes, get naked and kill yourself.

Slowly.

Watch yourself bleed out.

Smile.

Make sure your money’s got a good home.

Honestly though, who has any time?

Time is money.

Time is fuck.

Time is production.

Time is the excruciatingly slow death of absolutely every living thing.

Life is so fucking precious.

So “natural.”

Enjoy yourself while it lasts.

Yeah.

Right.

You fucking selfish coward.

How dare you stop suffering?!

Is it really that bad?

Is your life really that fucking bad?

Do you know how many people are starving around the world?

Fucking emo kid.

What a fucking failure.

Kill Yourself

 

Welcome to sleep from which you’ll never fucking wake.

Good night and good luck.

Go towards the light!

Go and find your fucking g_D!

If ya find more than one, go towards the one with the bigger dick!

On your knees, bitch!

Open wide!

Pitiful little human.

Welcome to surviving through your life with an excruciatingly feigned sense of purpose.

And lots and lots and lots of smiles.

Hope you enjoyed the fucking ride.

The End.

Fight Club

Welcome to death.

Wow!  What a wonderful fucking life you lived!

You achieved so many remarkable things!

I’ll bet all those precious piles of humanity will remember you well forever and ever and ever and…
 
 

Welcome to me.

Fuck you.

🙂

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